One Hot Summer (boyxboy)

Chapter 32: Heartfelt

"Don't let this moment pass you by Jasper."
☆

"Boy, is that you?" Thomas' grandfather was sat in his easy chair, some vintage music playing on an old record player beside him.

"Yes grandpa, it's me." Thomas answers, kicking off his dirty boots by the door. He heads into the room where his grandfather is sitting.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping your sister at that farm?" He enquires.

Thomas shrugs a little, "yeah, but..."

"But what? Spit it out!" Thomas looks at his grandfather and wished he could tell him the truth. Tell him exactly the reason why he was now standing in front of him. Because he felt pain in his soul because of a boy. A boy who for some reason made him feel different to any other.

Jasper was right about him. For all of his confidence in the outside world, the one place he couldn't be his true self was in his own home, because he was scared. Scared of his grandfather.

Thomas had seen first hand how his cousin had been treated. Like there was something wrong with him. Thomas knew he would be treated the same, maybe worse.

"I wasn't needed today." He says with a sigh.

His grandfather waves a hand around the room. "Well make yourself useful here then boy. The place is a mess!"

Thomas looked around the small space, it didn't look too shabby, but he didn't have the strength to argue. "Yes grandfather."

***

The journey to the city's hospital felt like a blur as Jasper stared blankly out of the window. He and his grandmother had been very close when Jasper was small and as she became progressively ill with one condition after another, their time together became less and less.

Jasper had purposely been avoiding her for the best part of the year as her condition worsened, mainly because he didn't want to face it. Face the fact that his grandma was not going to get better. She would never leave the hospital. He didn't want to remember her with tubes and wires attached to her. But right now he felt regret. A whole year wasted. A year of conversations that never happened, no stories shared, no jokes made.

The car pulls into a space at the car park and Jasper hits reality again, mechanically getting out of the vehicle and following his uncle to the reception desk. The next moment he is standing outside of a door. A half glass panel, with a slender blind down it was just shielding the body on the other side, lying on the bed.

His uncle opens the door to reveal the frail lady, raised slightly from the bed. An oxygen mask on her face. Jasper's mother sat on the other side, holding her hand.

As soon as she sees Jim, she gets up from her seat and hurries around the bed to hug her brother, letting out a sob. Jim comforts his sister by stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head, before pulling apart and sitting on the chair on the other side of his mother.

Jasper's mother now looks at Jasper. Her eyes red from crying and her face blotchy. Jasper can feel his eyes glassing over as he looks at his mother's distraught face, then his grandma, looking so pale.

His mother approaches Jasper and wraps her arms around him, giving him a tight embrace. "It's ok sweetheart."

Jasper doesn't return the hug. He feels numb. The whole set up is too much for him to take in. The reality is too overwhelming. He pushes his mother's arms away from him. "I can't do this." He utters as he turns towards the door and pushes through it. He is now running in the corridor until it reaches an end, now resting his hands on his knees.

Jasper then slouches to the floor, knees tucked in, resting against the wall under a window. He covers his head with his arms and cries. Tears upon tears flow as he seems to let years worth of pent up anger, sadness and frustration, leave him though the water cascading out.

It feels like he's been in this state for a while before he hears footsteps approach and a male voice. "Jasper..."

Jasper wipes his eyes with his shirt and looks up to see his uncle standing over him. He then squats down to Jasper's eye level. "Mama, your grandma is awake. She knows you're here."

Jasper sniffs in his snotty nose and wipes his eyes again with his hands. "Uncle...I can't go in. I'm scared!"

Jim places a hand on Jasper's shoulder. "I know. I'm scared too, but this might be your last chance to speak to her." Jim looks down at the floor, blowing out a shot of air from his mouth. He then looks back at Jasper. "The doctor says she hasn't got long left. Her lungs are giving in. Don't let this moment pass you by Jasper."

Jasper swallows hard, taking in what his uncle had just said. He nods "Ok." He says quietly as he and his uncle again get to their feet.

Jasper once again stood at his grandmother's door. His uncle pushes it open and Jasper can see his grandma looking their way. Her eyes light up as she sees Jasper and she reaches out a hand towards him.

Jim gestures towards Jasper's mother. "C'mom . Let's give them some time to chat."

His mother nods, "See you in a moment Mama." She kisses her mother on the cheek before walking past Jasper and kissing him on the cheek too. "We're just outside if you need us ok?" She says, gently squeezing his arm. Jasper nods and slowly walks towards his grandma. He sits in the chair and takes her outstretched hand in his.

"Grandma...I...I'm sorry I stayed away." Jasper can feel another torrent of tears on the way yet again. He lets his head fall on her blanket and lets go of her hand.

His grandma lifts her hand and gently strokes her grandson's hair.

This simple action was all it took for Jasper to feel a heavy guilt lift from him. He lifts up his head and takes her hand again in his. Jasper now felt like he had so much to tell her. And he doesn't know where to start.