in the dark | d malfoy

chapter twenty-one

the weather was, safe to say, loads better than my first year at hogwarts. i laughed as i remembered how freezing i had been, drenched in water from the sky and the lake as i had entered the great hall for my sorting.

i followed alfie and jan through the darkness, and a small gasp escaped me as we approached the horses that pulled the carriages. i didn't know if i should call them horses. they were skinny, black, and their bones curved, covering their body in a skeletal like way. alfie and jan gave me strange looks. "kat?" jan questioned. "what's wrong?"

"what are those things?" i asked in wonder, and jan just gave me a quizzical look, not responding. i followed her into the carriage, embarrassed, but i bit my tounge as i glanced over my shoulder, staring at the strange creatures as the carriage lurched forward.

"so, are you excited to have a somewhat normal year?" alfie asked turning towards me as the carriages lurched towards the school. i shrugged. "i guess so, yeah. i've never really had one."

jan laughed. "i wouldn't say we have, either. the year before the tournament, a mass murderer snuck into hogwarts, and the year before that, a chamber made by slytherin's heir was opened, petrifying muggle borns and halfbloods." i stared at her in shock. "hogwarts doesn't seem as safe as you two seem to claim it is."

alfie and jan both laughed, shrugging. "it's... home." jan said, and i stared at her with a soft smile. home it was.

-

i tried to keep my eyes ahead as i headed towards the great hall, but it was only minutes before i found him. he was easy to spot, his hair bleach blond, and his eyes searching the crowd, dark clothes draped across his limb, pale body.

my eyes glued to his skin, my heart beating inside my body. why was i so attached to him? it was my own fault. i shouldn't have written him during the summer. now all i wanted was to speak to him.

i'd grown used to his harsh words, his piercing eyes. i'd had a comforting sort of feeling as i'd walked to class every day, having at least one thing stable. though he wasn't stable at all in reality, i found myself craving sharing words with him.

"i'll meet you there, i have to pee," i mumbled to jan, and she gave me a nod as i slipped away, brushing through people towards him. fuck.

he was gone. the hallway thinned out, and i turned around, scowling at nothing. where had he gone?

"katherine." and suddenly, there he was. his breath was cold against my neck, and i took a deep, shuddering breath in. "draco."

i turned, forcing my breath to even out as i made eye contact with him. "how was your summer?" i asked, and draco let a small smirk appear on his face. "you've already asked me that, you know. in your letters," his voice had a slight tease to it, and i scowled. "why did you reply if you thought it was funny? i just wanted to check on you. make sure you hadn't grown more sensitive over the summer."

draco's smirk was still prominent, and he leaned close, letting his breath buffet my neck. "ah, i haven't changed one bit. and it seems, neither have you. you're every bit as feisty as i remember you."

"mm." my breath caught in my throat as draco pressed a single kiss against my collarbone, turning my body to stone. "i'll see you around, katherine."

he was gone before i could react, and i closed my eyes tight, shaking my head. i refused to let draco malfoy be a distraction to me this year.

-

the sorting breezed by, and i had to force myself not to glance over my shoulder at draco during the feast. he'd grown even more handsome over the summer, his hair cut shorter and his cheekbones sharper. i tried to calm the urge i had to run to him and throw myself into his arms.

he isn't yours.

he doesn't want to be yours.

he doesn't even want to be your friend.

jan and alfie chattered to hannah while they ate, and i tried not to let sadness engulf me as i stared at the empty spot next to me where cedric used to sit. i used to look forward to lunchtime, where he would play with my feet under the table while we were in a relationship.

"we have two changes in staffing this year." i allowed my eyes to drift up to the table where the teachers sat, spotting some new faces. professor umbridge wore a bright pink outfit, and her face was plump. i narrowed my eyes at her. she seemed to be the sort of person to be strict. i decided then that i would try my best not to get on her bad side.

after she gave a long speech, she was back to her seat, and all the students in the hall looked bewildered. "do new teachers normally do that?" i whispered to jan, and she shook her head.

after dinner was over, i headed out of the great hall, jan and alfie by my side. i spotted harry exiting the hall by himself, and waved at him. he grinned, waving back, and heading over. "hey, kat. long time no see." his face softened. "you all right?"

i shrugged. "could be better. but i'm alright. good summer? i read some stuff in the paper about you almost being expelled?" harry groaned. "long story. i'll have to tell you in potions."

i nodded. "by the way, this is jan and alfie." i noticed jan's face was a deep purple of embarrassment, and i remembered with a start her failed attempt at asking harry to the ball the year before. harry must have remembered, too, because he also flushed red. "nice to meet you two. i'll see you around!"

i nodded, giving him another wave as he headed upstairs, and turned back to my friends. alfie had a shocked expression on her face. "since when are you and harry potter friends?"

i shrugged. "we aren't really friends. we just... know each other. and i sit at their table in potions." jan gave me a strange look. "whatever you say."

i was exhausted by the time i got into bed, and i pulled cedric's sweater out of my trunk, tucking myself under the blankets. i lifted the soft fabric to my nose, inhaling and forcing myself not to cry. it still smelled like him. i felt a pang of regret hit me.

but i wouldn't let myself cry. not again.

he wouldn't want me to.

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