luna | peter pevensie

chapter twelve

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The sea is a great metaphor for many things. When calm, it can remind one of a lover's eyes, or the baby blue of an heirloom quilt, or the favorite dress of your childhood best friend.

When the seas are stormy, it feels like the end of the world. It's gray and dark and gloomy and frightening. One giant wave, and your entire world can simply fall apart.

And right now, Luna feels like her world is falling apart.

"Can you believe he asked me to court him? Imagine me as high queen! i can hardly wait!" Gloria gushes to their mother while she applies her eye makeup.

Luna stands in front of the window, wondering why she's so bothered. Maybe it's because she never really thought this day would come. Susan and Lucy both had assured her that Peter wasn't going to marry her sister. And of course she believed them, but perhaps it was only to keep her from becoming jealous.

That's what she is, she realizes. Jealousy seeps trough her veins and taps against her skull. A common and often you're not good enough for him bounces around in her brain. She always knew that, of course. Befriending the High King was never going to result in anything like love, but in the back of her mind, Luna sort of hoped it would.

Gloria doesn't even like him.

Luna doesn't want to be rude, or sound arrogant, but Gloria doesn't care about Peter like she does. Gloria doesn't seek him out and ask about his day. She doesn't ask him about his interests. She only ever cares about her status, and Luna's heart sinks to think that Peter might not be cherished for the rest of his life.

Luna exits the room without a complaint from her mother and sister. They hardly notice her presence when they're getting their way, so Luna decides now would be the best time to leave.

There's only one person who could comfort her now, and he's been gone for years. Luna slips into the cartography room and locks the door behind her.

When she was younger, her father would show her maps he collected from around the land. He used to give her a quill and let her circle her favorite place. Often times, her father would try to bring her back something from her chosen island, and it made Luna feel so known to be thought of all the way from across an entire sea.

Of course the maps never stayed in the house for very long; Ophelia was never a fan of her husband's trade, despite his high ranking in the Narnian Navy. So the maps and nautical records have been collecting dust since her father's death.

Luna pulls them out again.

And there, on the map of Narnia, where the Cair sits, is Luna's scrawl. It's circled with confidence, and Luna knows is the place her father was going to when his ship went down. He never did bring her back anything from the Cair. He found himself lost out in the sea, a victim to the depths.

Luna wonders if the thing you love the most will always be the thing that kills you.

She clutches the maps in their rolled leather tubes and tries to feel her father's presence. He's in Aslan's Country by now, she knows. It's a place he's longed for his entire life, and Luna misses hearing about it.

Perhaps Aslan knows about her. Perhaps her father has told him something. Maybe the great lion is watching over her now, in his own way.

Luna closes her eyes to keep the tears from falling.

She doesn't want Peter to court her sister. It's selfish, really, but she wants to be the one to court him. She wants to be the one who holds his hand in the courtyard and helps him plan strategies for upcoming meetings with foreign company. She wants to sail across the sea with him and feel the same wind her father used to feel. She wants to be the one who gets to sleep beside him every night and wake to his face every morning.

What if he decides to marry Gloria? What if Luna has to watch her sister steal the light from Peter's eyes, the same way she stole the light from Luna's?

She could hardly sit back and let that happen.

She takes the map of Narnia in her hands and leaves the room just as silently as she came.

"Luna! I was looking for you!"

Luna stills. The voice of a king still makes the hair on the back of one's neck stand up. Even if he's nice. Even if he's a friend. Even if he'll never become family. Not in the preferred way, at least. Luna buries these thoughts within her and turns around. "Hello, Edmund. I- I was just getting one of my father's maps. I promise I'll put it back."

Edmund smiles, his freckled face revealing the mischief he so clearly emanates. "They're all yours, if you want them. Actually, I wanted to discuss some things with you, on account of the, er, news of today."

Luna feints a smile. "Oh, yes. Gloria is very happy. I dare say the High King has made her entire year."

"Yes, well," Edmunds voice is clipped, and he avoids her eyes when he clears his throat. "I wanted to discuss your place in the Cair before anyone else suggests anything. I thought you might like my proposal best."

Luna blinks. "My place in the Cair? Won't I just be going back to the manor?"

Edmund shrugs. "With your sister in a royal courtship, you're more than likely going to be at the Cair more than the manor. So, I want to give you an offer before my sisters can try to force you into a petticoat. How would you like it, if you were one of my strategists? You'd be training right under me, and helping me make decisions for the Narnian people, as well as fortified plans for any attacks or coups on the Cair."

Luna twists her fingers together. "What would I know about strategy?"

Edmund bites his lip. He averts his chocolate-brown eyes. "Well, being a young lady of nobility requires strategy enough, doesn't it?"

Luna wants to ask if he means to say that keeping her family happy requires a strategy. She wants to ask if this is a pity role, to keep her as far away from her sister and his brother as she can. She wants to ask if everyone in the Cair can see her feelings so easily, and if nothing about her is carefully hidden behind her softened heart.

She's tried so hard to keep her distance, but staying away from Peter feels like the most impossible task she's ever been given. And now she might have to do it for the rest of her life.

Maybe it's better to take Edmund's offer, before her mother or sister can anoint her their royal laundry maid.

"Then I humbly accept, King Edmund." Luna bows her head, and with her golden hair falling over her face, the king can't see her pained expression, or the tears that fill her eyes.

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sorry for the wait! life has been busy and i haven't even had time to think about this book. i really miss it though, and i have tons of plans for it so please stick around

also pls keep commenting i love reading them !!