hot chocolate ; lrh

want you back

4 years later

i was running late. as per usual these days. i don't understand why. lack of sleep? too much keeping me up at night? i really didn't know. i work as a front desk secratary for a law firm. boring, but my mom had a friend that worked there so i had a way in, plus it paid the bills well. living in new york was... interesting, but i love it all the same. leaving sydney was necessary, i felt trapped there. like i couldn't be myself. young natalia is who people know back home. young natalia probably thought that the girl she was now was such a loser, as nick would say. speaking of nick, i was supposed to call him later. he stayed in australia, bless his heart. he loves it there. halfway through tugging on my dress pants, i get a call from holly, my best friend here in new york, she's a model for our local agency and with her beautiful dark skin and hair, its no surprise she's down right gorgeous. we met at my job, she had to go to jury duty, which is heinous in itself, but she had dropped her wallet but didn't notice me chasing her to give it back. i walked a whole block before reaching her. the whole story was so funny and she felt bad that i went all that way so we agreed to hang out eventually and exchanged numbers. i've been trying to set her up with somebody for the longest time, much to her dismay. i don't party much but when i do i'm looking out for good enough guys for my holly. she doesn't need a man and i of all people know ALL about that. but she's too sweet for this world to not love somebody. i feel like i owe it to her, since my chance with romance has been unsuccessful.

"hey mamas whatcha doing today?," she asked. i snorted at the pet name, it was her favorite for me.

"work. you know, not all of us can be beautiful miss bridges." i teased, sticking my tongue out, even though she couldn't see me.

"hey hey hey it's not my fault. bleh. fun sponge. well i'm out and about a nowhere to go, maybe later we can hang?" i thought about this. what did i need to do today? besides call my brother? nothing really. "yeah ill see what's up with my time slots cause you know they are oh so full," i laughed.

"right right well i'll see you later nat." she responded, giving me phone kisses, something she always did, and then hung up. love that girl.

my breakfast finished toasting, which was one waffle. i wish i had time to put the fixins on it, but i decided sleep was more important then syrup. i grabbed my keys and purse and then left my apartment flat. the best thing about new york? you really don't need a car. i made sure to rent a place close to the firm for this exact reason. being a single woman at the age of twenty two was definitely scary, as it would be for everybody. i only travel by myself during the day time, i feel like that lowers the risk by a little its a scary world. which reminds me, i need to get holly and i to another feminism protest. i made a mental note and kept walking. i scanned my id badge and walked in, and said hello to my favorite janitor there, lucinda. she's the best. when i have late days, i stay even later sometimes to help her out. she waves and smiles at me before going back down the hallway. best thing about being front desk? my trip inside is not long AT all. i set all my papers down and put on my " i know what am i doing with my life face", and prepare for the endless divorce papers i have to sift through and organize, answering the phones, and directing people to (mostly the bathrooms) the different court rooms.

lunch break happens and i pull my phone out to call nick to see how he's doing. he truthfully might be awake right now even though it's 1 o clock in the morning right now for him. he picks up on the second ring, like i thought he would.
"hey nut how've you been? i missed you." recently he's been calling me nut instead of nat and i hate it. so i retaliate.

"what are you doing up this late nick the dick? im good, i miss you too loser. how's mum?" the aussie in me slipped out, which rarely happens due to my almost american accent. this happens whenever i call him, in particular. he laughs at the nickname

"i miss our banter. she's fine. she just repainted the basement her favorite color so she's ecstatic." i grimaced at that statement. my moms favorite color is bright orange. i'm sure that's a sight.

"yum. well anyways i miss you two. hopefully you'll have a lady by the next time i see you, yeah?" i teased. he groaned.

"drop it with the matchmaking nutalia i'm fine being single." he grew silent for a second.

"are you...uh... coming down for december?," he questioned with a treading tone.

"i don't know. probably not. id like to be by myself this year you know? i should be fine," i reassured him. not much else was said, but he could tell i was lying about me being fine.

"well good luck with your millions of divorce papers i'll see you soon hopefully nat. goodnight."
he spoke one last time.

i smiled and replied with a simple goodnight before hanging up the phone. i drew a shaky breath. december was approaching rather fast and i wish it wasn't. i grab my sandwhich when the over head radio in the lobby stared playing this catchy tune. i started bobbing my head and listening to the words.

"no matter where i go i'm always gonna want you back"

huh. this isn't that bad of a song actually. halfway through one of the lines halfway through my bite of peanutbutter and nutella sandwhich everything in my body stops.

"you know even when i say i moved on, you know even though i know that you're gone".

the voice playing out loud in the building drowned out my own senses. i recognized it. but why?...no. there was no way. there was zero way. it couldn't even be... could it? i decided for my health and humanity that it wasn't who i thought it was. even if it was, what kind of lame excuse is that. "always gonna want you back?" yeah right. must've been some artist ive never heard of. i saw my shift was close to over and sighed a big sigh." i need a drink" i thought to myself. i call holly as im walking out of the firm.

"hey mamas i cant talk too long right now because ive been busy with..."she pauses for dramatic effect.

"A BOY! we're going out to a party later, if you want to come with us, id love for you to meet him!" my heart soared, i was so happy for her.

"hols thats awesome, i'll be there for sure, ive had a long day man"

i ran my hand through my dark hair and flick it out and saw my chipped nail polish and realized i need to go get ready and start walking faster to my flat.

"he's a great guy nat, seriously. i'll see you later." she squeals.

"i'll be the judge of that." i say, sass evident in my tone. "see ya", i sang, and then hung up. finally. an excuse to drink my thoughts away.