Divisions

Part 4- Chapter 21

Mark

"Two days, left..." I whispered, staring at the window, as Ricardo lay beside me.

He looked up, his eyes meeting mine.

I thought about the days we had managed to spend together, the moments we had shared, knowing our time was running out.

The more time passed, the more I realized that we probably were not going to last... we never stayed over with each other, we also were so different.

"Marcus..." he began, rising.

"If you want to leave me, now's the time," I sighed.

"Wait, what gave you the impression that I wanted to leave?" Ricardo asked.

"Look, Rick. I know how impossible our relationship is... and, considering everything that's going on..."

"We're more than our circumstances," he interrupted.

"That's the problem. What are we, Ricardo? I mean, we have had to hide our relationship since the beginning, and yes, you came out, but we have not told anyone about our relationship. And, I mean, I'm sorry, but I can't continue being in this "un-knowing" phase, like..."

"Marcus..." he repeated, stopping me.

"Yeah?" I asked

He paused, looking at me carefully, as I waited. I could see tiny freckles of brown in his hazel eyes, the afternoon sun shining so plainly on the pupils.

"Let's decide what we are, then, so we can both have clearer picture," he said.

"Well, okay," I shrugged. "What would you like to me, then?" I asked.

He turned my face slightly to face him.

"I want us to be in a real relationship." he said simply, his voice earnest.

I gulped, startled by the intensity of the moment. Ricardo usually was carefree around me, and I was surprised.

"And you?" he asked. "Are you hinting at me possibly leaving because you maybe don't want to be serious?"

I shook my head.

"Ricardo... what have I done to make you think that?"

He was silent.

"Look, Marcus." He said, after a while. "After what I did with Natalia... I realized that I did not deserve you. I also worry that maybe you think it's a phase I'm going through, like what my parents said,"

My face twisted in sympathy. "They said that?"

He nodded, looking into the distance.

I turned him to face me.

"Listen, Ricardo. I want the two of us to be in a relationship, for real. I want us to be boyfriend and... boyfriend," I chuckled.

"Well, then, why did you bring up the idea of splitting up?" Ricardo asked, concerned

"Because, Rick... what is going to happen to us tomorrow? If Jarred and Natalia are not successful, they will detain us. They would jail us. I did some research on the internet... and the punishment for a crime this bad is a life sentence, Rick. We could get the death penalty... and I..."

"Marcus," he said, taking my hand, as I stared down at it.

"We need to have faith, Marcus. And even if what you're saying happens, we still have today, tonight..." he lifted my chin up to face it.

He gulped, the Adam's apple on his neck travelling down.

"I love you, Marcus George, even if we only have today" he whispered, his eyes unblinking.