Beneath Your Beautiful

Chapter 10: My Brother

Chapter 10: My brother

 AN: Sorry for a very long period of waiting. I hope you won’t get mad at me. I have no valid excuse. Just been busy with my work.

 Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. Just this plot. =P

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There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fevered pitch and it's bringing me out the dark. Finally, I can see you crystal clear. Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your shit bare. See how I'll leave with every piece of you. Don't underestimate the things that I will do. The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love, they leave me breathless. I can't help feeling, we could have had it all, rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside your hand and you played it to the beat. – Rolling in the Deep, Adele

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I need someone to talk to. I think Ginny would be able to give me some advice. Tomorrow will be a fine day to visit. I need to get this off my chest. For now, I need some sleep. It won’t do good to our child. Merlin, help us.

* * *

Three days.

It has been three days since I caught them in the act. Three days I’ve felt hell inside me. Three days I felt weak. Three days I felt wrecked. Three days I holed myself in my room in the muggle hotel I checked in. Three days that I felt alone.

No.

I have our baby. There was a child within me.

I was supposed to visit Ginny the day after the incident. But I didn’t have strength to face her or even Harry. I hid myself from them. I hid myself from the shame I felt. I hid myself from the judgment of the people around me.

I was known as one third of the Golden Trio who defeated the dark wizard of all time, Voldemort. I was respected because I was the brain of the three. I was respected because I earned so much in my short period of my career. I was admired by many but I failed to the one I invested myself.

It shatters me to the fullest. It torn me apart. Never had imagined I would be this broken. Never had I imagined I will fell apart from it. Never had I imagined he will do this to me. Never had I imagined I will make myself indiscernible to the eyes of the ones I loved. I wonder how I ended up into this.

All I could see is them. Pansy and Ron in their heated tryst. All I could hear are their moans and heavy breathing. All I could remember is the story Ron told me. And all I did was slapped him after he told me their story. Stupid. I was stupid to just let it go. I was questioning myself now. Questioning my sanity after what happen.

How am I going to be happy after all? Will I really be happy even the child is born? Will I build a happy family after this? Will I be that steadfast? What if he won’t left her? What if he will leave us? What if he chose her instead of us? These questions lingers in my mind.

I wrote to Sara, the department’s secretary, to file me a week leave the night I checked in at the room.  I told her that I need to fix some important family matters and put Angeline, my second in line healer in my department, as the officer in charge. So now, I was not bothered about leaving my work unattended.