Phantom Thief Kokichi x Undercover Detective Reader Short Story: A True Rival

Strange Work/Doubts

You awoke with a groan hearing your phone's alarm going off the next morning. You did not want to move or get up at all, but you had work. After a quick shower you got dressed and looked over the list you were given last night. After collecting the few items you were able to keep even under this new identity, clothing, some shower supplies, things like that, Kokichi dragged you to his apartment, saying your work was to start tomorrow. The first thing on the list "wake me up. 7:00-10:00' ... Why such a big time frame? And less importantly, but still curiously, why was the list written in entirely crayon?

At first you tried the usual things, gently shaking his shoulder, setting a blaringly loud alarm, things like that. None of it worked... Kind of. After blaring music as loudly as you could from your phone, you heard giggling. "Good you're awake. Now the next item on th-" "No I'm not." You looked to him for a moment, a stupid grin creasing his lips. "... So, you sleep talk?" "Yeah~" He dreamily sighed, nuzzling into his pillow. "... Alright, sure."

Not wanting to waste time, you decided to move on to the next item, 'can you cook? Make breakfast and we'll see!' It said to see if you could cook so cereal and milk likely wouldn't work for this test. Looking through the cupboards and fridge there were surprisingly a lot of items. There were even tools, all seemed used, but well cared for. Did Kokichi know how to cook? Pondering that over you looked up some recipes on your phone. Not before filling a pot with boiling water and wrapping a towel around it though. Maybe you could make boiled eggs? That was simple, right? Maybe pancakes? That couldn't be too hard, right? "Uhh..." Looking through the cupboards you began to mumble to yourself. "Where's the flour... or frying pan for that matter?" Then a loud obnoxious yawn halted your thoughts. "Very right... last shelf. An... bottom... behind knife block at... at the left." "Thank you!" "Ngh... what are you... you thanking me for?... I'm just asleep..." "... Thank you asleep Kokichi." "Hmph." Alright! Back to work.

With all the excitement from last night you never really got a good look at the apartment. Though it was rather small, so it wasn't difficult to find your way around, it was just three rooms after all. The main one being the living room/bedroom/kitchen, the shower room, and the broom closet/office. Though all the same room the kitchen was slightly separated from the rest of the room by being secluded in a corner, having a tiled floor instead of carpet, and a long island acting a barrier between the kitchen and sofa bed. Said sofa bed currently had pillows and couch cushions running down the middle separating you and Kokichi... Though that didn't seem to work too well considering Kokichi fell asleep sprawled across the barrier.

With the pancakes almost finished you decided to look into making soft-boiled eggs. "Hot and cold water?" You thought you were just going to... well, just boil the eggs. Turns out there's a lot more to making these things than you thought... like, you needed vinegar? "It's just called a soft-boiled egg, why are there more steps than, 'boil the egg'?" It was then Kokichi realized that he may have made a dreadful mistake in deciding to test you on your cooking skills before asking you how much you knew about cooking... Eh, even if you burned down the apartment complex it'd be fine.

Placing a hand on the towel wrapped around the boiling pot you felt it was rather warm. Perfect. And you already had cold water. Holding the pot of cold water with as tight of a grip as you could, you flipped it up, over your head. Moments later you heard a high-pitched yelp. Quickly ripping the towel off from around the boiling pot, you tossed it onto Kokichi. "Ah, good. You are very clearly awake now. I just finished breakfast." While you eat, I'll set to washing and drying the quilts and sheets and stuff." Kokichi stared at you with a cold, steelie gaze as you dried off the island, placing the food on it. "No need. You'll do that tomorrow. Let's eat!" Even after drying himself off he still held the towel close, parts of it still pleasantly warm.

"Hmm... this is a new low. I don't even feel like lying." You looked to him in confusion. He played with his food, lightly poking at it with his fork. "It's not good, but it's not bad. Just bland." Lazily looking to you, he took another bite. "So... you more of a takeout person, or what?" "Uh, more of a... buy everything on sale at the cheapest dollar store. Boxes and boxes of instant pasta or udon, maybe a pack of granola bars if I feel like splurging. I can boil water, and dump things inside safely very well!" Kokichi stared at you, seemingly expecting more, like waiting for the punchline of a joke. "... You're not lying!?" "Uh... Yeah...?" "No wonder you're desperate!" "What's with that smile on your mug!?" "Hmm? Oh, nothing. Now I know I can treat you like total garbage, and you won't complain since it's still an improvement from before!" "... Honestly, yeah. Still can't believe your contract is real, seems too good to be true. Seriously, I'm only working for you for thirty-nine days, and health benefits!? I even get breaks!? How!? An-Kokichi, is something wrong?" He legitimately looked dumbfounded. "Vivi, who hurt you? You need some self-respect!" "Hey, I do have self-respect! Just... Well, you already said so before, I'm desperate for money so who cares about that." "You are pathetic."