Second Chance

Chapter five - The Bitter Memories

Haidar' POV

I have been turning and tossing all night I couldn't sleep since after Abba and I had that discussion, I fed my world falling as Abba informed me of my greatest nightmare, what I thought I have forgotten is now fresh in my memory, the pain, the struggle, the rejection are all back by only the mentioned of her name. A knock of my door brought me out of my thought as my brother came in  without allowing me to permit him to, he came and sit at the edge of my bed close to me " are you okay " he ask will all concerns, I did not answer him for he know am not okay, actually  am far from being okay  "Haidar you  know Abba will not force you if you don't want to" he say again after he realize am not answering him,  I sit up and look at his direction,  I want to share my thought with him, he has been there for me, well I think without him I could have not come out of my misery "I don't know yaya its all back" I say almost teary up "  I know but you are strong Haidar, you can make it" I look at he as he does not know what he was saying " what if she reject me again I don't think I will be able to go through the pain  for the second time "no she won't do such thing, why will she reject you when she has no reason to" he talk in a lower tone like he was talking to himself  trying to convinced his inner mind on the matter " yaya I don't know what to believed or do, all what I want to do is I want to help come out of misery, I want to alleviate her suffering " he look at me like he couldn't believe what he was hearing I could not believe it to myself, I want to help the person that put me through the worse pain of my life, I nearly lost my sanity but hear I am feeling her pain and suffering, I shall be happy be that she is suffering but no I feel worse then what I fed  five years ago when she rejected me " well do what you want as far as you are happy I am to" my brother say placing his hand on mine smiling, I love how positive he has always been "so how is the preparation to Adam's wedding coming up?" Adam is my friend, we have been friends since kid and he is getting married in two week time, am not in to any celebration but I have, my best friend Yusuf is forcing me to take part in every event of the wedding even due Adam ask me to rest " well its coming up pretty good and am so happy for him" he just smile at me while I continue to talk " Yusuf is at my neck, he even called just a while ago informing me that our dinner outfit will be a tie color with the bride friends"
" how I don't understand "
"Well its going to be like a couple tie, each friend of the groom will have a color tie with each friends to the bride" I explain and he nod with an understanding " wow it will be beautiful and colorful" 
" ya it will, I just can wait it to be over so I can't rest from Yusuf nagging"  " don't worry all will be fine. So who is your tie?" I look at him will puppet eyes cause I don't know who my tie is, all I know is I can't wait for this to be over.