Beyond the Stage

Chapter 6

I set my bag down on the front porch and rang the doorbell. I didn't have the house keys since I barely lived here anymore ever since I moved in with Suga hyung.

Gosh, when was the last time I had come home? Chuseok last year?

The door opened and I saw the face of my mother. She had gotten more skinnier since I last saw her. She smiled at me, revealing her wrinkles. The toll of age had definitely struck her face.

"Welcome home, son."

And then she hugged me tight. Her embrace was warm and tranquilizing. She put her hand on my head gently and I hugged her back. After a moment of embracement, she let go.

We both walked into the house. My little sister was not home.

"Is Abuji still fishing with his friends?"

"Yes but he will be back in a couple of hours. Originally he wanted to stay longer, but I told him you were here. So he will come home faster. He misses you."

"I miss Omma and Abuji very much too."

"Have you eaten son?"

"No I haven't had anything. I wasn't really feeling hungry this morning."

"Do you want to eat a meal now?"

"Give me something simple Omma. Don't stress about cooking so much. I'm here to see you, Abuji and my dongsaeng this week. If I gain too much weight, it will be a problem haha."

"Okay son. Go upstairs and relax. I'll call you when it's ready."

"Okay Omma."

I proceeded to head upstairs to my old room. The one I had as a teenager in which I secretly composed songs without the knowledge of my parents.

I opened the door to see that everything had remained the same. Not one had changed, not even the wall color or the smell. It was like being transported back instantly to much simpler but emotional times.

I started to arrange my belongings and put them in the closet. After I finished, I lay on my bed.

"Namjoon-ah the food is ready. Come downstairs !"

I got up from my bed to head downstairs. I told my mother not to overdo it with the cooking. But clearly she didn't listen because I could smell many delicious aromas in the air. The whole house had been filled with the wonderful smells, making my appetite increase.

~

After I finished my meal, Omma peeled some oranges for me to eat. I helped to clear the table and we both sat down in the living room.

"Son, how is everything these days?"

"Hm, Omma it's okay. There isn't too much of a change. The group is still doing well and we have a lot of schedules."

"You keep going on tour. Are you getting to enjoy the places you see?"

"Not really that much. If we get time, then we have a little fun and take pictures. The days on tour are always so hectic but we get to see the fans, so I love them."

"Do you feel tired?"

"To tell you the truth, sometimes yes. It's very exhausting both physically and mentally. And sometimes it's very lonely. I don't get to see you guys and my friends when I want to. Sometimes my heart wants to run here but I'm on the other side of the world."

I could see the worry in my mother's eyes so I quickly said "Don't worry Omma. With some rest, I will be fine. I'm just a little stressed."

"Namjoon-ah, I don't think you are a little stressed. I think, more than that, you seem empty, barren like the plains. But not like a desert."

You seem empty.

My mother's words lingered in my head. Yes,  those were the words I was looking for.