Mind the Gap | ✔️

May 3 @ 8:50 A.M.: Iris

"I always miss my dad most in spring. Perhaps it's because that was when he... passed away? From then on, it was as if part of me died. As if nothing could make it right anymore." I whispered the last two words, staring at a photo of the two of us. It stood on a heap of old milk crates I had stacked together to create a makeshift bedroom bookshelf.

My dad's death had ended a chapter in my life, with me moving out of my parents' house soon after. Right into my beloved Braintree apartment.

And now, that chapter seemed to be coming to its end, too.

Rena sighed. "Come on, drama queen! You are getting married! I admit it, I was all negative about your relationship for years. But then he proposed." She frowned.

I giggled, throwing a pillow at her. "I bet you  didn't expect that epic plot twist, did you?"

She ducked and blew a raspberry at me. "Nope, I most certainly did not. I mean: Moving to the king-size apartment, with a king-size bed! That's what you always wanted! Even I have finally accepted you chose dum-dum Jay-Jay!"

"Hey!" I wiggled a menacing finger at Rena.

"Oh fine." She sighed. "We agreed on not calling him dum-dum anymore... No fun! Ugh, I feel so weird, playing the role of cheerleader. How old are you on that photo?" Rena walked over, swaying to the rhythm of be sure to wear some flowers in your hair coming from the second-hand record player I had dug out from the corner of a thrift store years ago. She placed a comforting palm on my shoulder.

"Umm... I can't be more than... six, I think?" The old photograph showed lil' Iris sitting on her father's shoulders, reaching her arms out to ruffle her Dad's hair. Her front teeth were bygones, a premonition of bracing to come.

The photo had been taken in a comic book shop.

"My dad would be so proud of us, Rena. Of how hard we are working to save Million Year Picnic. This year, it's somehow even worse. I need his advice. I also need him to make me his famous spaghetti carbonara. To tell me that everything going badly in my life will magically sort itself out." I sighed and turned around only to witness Rena poaching yet another blouse from my antique sandalwood wardrobe.

"No, honey! Don't give me that look. You won't manage to make me feel guilty. I'll never have enough clothes and shoes, and that's a goddamn fact. All my clothes are so...last week!" Rena wiggled my purple skirt in the air before putting it in her bag with the other clothes she had pilfered from me. "Thanks for letting me scavenge your wardrobe. Heads up. I'm after that green blouse you're wearing today, next!" She pointed a long finger at me.

"Nuh-huh! In your dreams! You ain't getting it. This one goes so well with my springtime hair!" I blew a raspberry at her, already feeling a bit better.

"Right... You said it. It goes so well with your springtime hair now! At least this month, you aren't wearing that beanie. Next month, we'll have summer! You won't be a green Power Ranger anymore. You will have a different color by then, you... Serial hair dye-ist!" Rena giggled.

"It's true I'm dyeing for a new hair color! Hmm... Unicorn Frappuccino hue is all the rage these days..." I placed a thumb and a forefinger on my chin in mock-pondering.

"See?" she said. "I knew it! And  then, the blouse will be mine." She tapped a letter "T" on my vintage typewriter to accentuate her point.

I glanced at the pile of my former clothes in Rena's now bulging bag.

"Whoa! You really took a lot. Umm... Not that I mind it, but... There is still plenty of time before I move out."

"Ya huh, but a) you said I could take anything I wanted, and b) I am determined to get a move on before all the good ones are gone! The right of the first pick, before the other shoppe colleagues swarm in!" Rena shrugged.

"I know, I know." I nodded wisely. "Being the amazing girl friend that you are, you feel the need to share the burden, and lighten my suitcase now that I am moving in with Jayden. Besides, my Ma says it brings good luck to gift clothes before switching apartments."

"Sooo?" Rena fisted my arm playfully. "Spill the goss! I promise I am in a good mood and I will try my best not to say a word against your future husband! First, engagement? Then, Cancuuuun! And now? A marriage proposal? Moving in together? What's next? Don't tell me... Are you carrying octuplets in there?" Rena patted my tummy. "Nescafe 3 in 1! You've definitely topped the 'kill the two birds with one stone' proverb!"

Cancun—we were finally back from there, Jayden and I. And I was so glad for it.

"So, how was it? You still haven't even showed me the photos, gal! I bet in Cancun, they ask themselves how we Bostonians live here up nawth in winta." Rena giggled.

"Ya huh..." I grunted.

From start to finish, it had been a week from hell.

"Uh-oh. I know that look." Rena's chirpy voice prodded the bubble of my thoughts and, eventually, burst it.

"What look?" My eyes darted for escape as I felt how my make-upped skin cracked under my fake grin.

"The look that says: we had one of those 'let's liven up our holiday festivities by resurrecting an unresolved argument' moments?" Her radar scrutiny pressed me to continue.

"Fine. Okay, fine. Yes." I held my palms up in surrender, slumping on the bed covered with orange Volkswagen van sheets. "There were times when... I... wasn't sure I could fully relax and be me, you know?"

"Do tell me. Was he his usual, bossy self, your Jayden?" Rena curiously prodded my steampunk-style light fixture, a contraption of metal tubes, and an Edison bulb.

"Yes. He..." My breath hitched, and I vomited the furry ball of worry snuggled up in my chest. "We kind of... Did the stuff he wanted to do, and then he would be surprised I was not having fun. I missed my project. I missed home. Or at least, I think I missed Jayden how he is when we are at home. In Cancun, we were bickering over the smallest, dumbest stuff. It was so stupid. It felt like..." I wavered for a moment, biting the inside of my cheek.

"It felt like you were just there for a ride. Not co-driving?" Rena sighed.

"Yes! That. Thank you!" I exhaled in relief. Rena always knew how to pinpoint my elusive feelings. "I don't know."

"Gurl! What's there to know? Rena's eyebrows drew together. "I mean, you couldn't even enjoy Cancun together! The best of the best! How are you going to get through the worst parts?"