You belong to me

Chapter 4 - Charlotte

 My alarm sharply wakes me up as I scramble to turn off that obnoxious ring that chimes over and over again. I love going to Cornwall and I love our Christmas spent there in the cottage but this year I don't feel quite the same. I was so used to Parker not even consuming any part of my thoughts but now he consumes all of them and I just want him to be there. Maybe I should make some form of an effort just in case he is there and everyone is just teasing me. I look at my selection of clothing in my wardrobe that I haven't already just thrown in a suitcase and I'm down to four different hoodies, all variant shades of black, one horrendous jumper from my gran in Jamaica that I can't bring myself to throw away and my prom dress which there is absolutely no way I will fit into that now. I wish I cared more about clothing and fashion, I really wish Georgia was here so I could steal something of hers, she always has the best clothing. Ah fuck it, I'll just have a shower and I suppose throw on one of my black hoodies paired with some cute jeans or whatever and braid my hair. I notice the time and realise we're meant to be leaving and be on the road in five minutes, shit. "Charlotte, you could have worn something different than a hoody and at least done something nice with your hair," my mum sighs at me and Jake follows that comment with a shrug. Jake is also in a black hoody and jeans and his hair granted has just been cut but his curls are still big and nothing gets said to him.

The drive seems like it's taking longer than it should do, either that or I'm just agitated. A sharp beep of car horns pull me out of my thoughts, "What a fucking knob head he is!" my dad shouts, throwing his hands in the air at a blacked out car in front of us. "Warren, there is no need for that type of language!" my mum scowls back which seems to tickle Jake and he sarcastically replies, "What? Because there are young children in the back of the car aged 22 and 24." My dad laughs and mum hits his arm, "the pair of you, start to act right. We're nearly there," she snaps back, raising her eyebrow glaring into the rearview mirror so Jake knows he's on a warning. I still haven't really said anything in the car and I already know my mum is going to call me out on that as soon as she gets me one on one. And I was right, of course. As soon as we arrive at the cottage my mother gives me a scowl and mouths the word 'smile' at me. I send an over emphasized smile back her. "Oh my Charlotte, look at you, I can't believe it!" I hear squealed at me from a distance, I know that voice. It's Julie. I turn on my heel to make my way towards her to give her a big cuddle and I see she's as glamourous as ever. Her brunette hair blow dried to perfection, her flawless makeup and her cream cardigan complemented with her black hunter boots stride towards me. "You look so grown up! I can't believe it." She says as she wraps her arms around my body.

The remainder of the afternoon is spent catching up about our lives in the five years Julie and Nate haven't been home. It's weird we're doing all this catching up but I know fine well my mum and Julie Facetime every couple of weeks and they talk for hours, so really they should all be caught up, I guess it's just polite to do so anyways. "So Charlotte final year at Edinburgh, huh? Any idea what you're going to do with a degree in art?" Nate politely asks me. "Yeah final year, four years has gone so fast, and I'm thinking maybe graphic design, maybe, I'm not too sure," I respond trailing off at the end, because if truth be told I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life and what an art degree can even get me, I think I should have chosen a more conventional degree path like Jake and chose accountancy. I can feel my mother cringing in the corner at my response, I love her with all my heart but she never wanted me to do art, she kept insisting it was a hobby and not a career. "Well I wish Parker had of gone to university like you and Jake," Julie comments. "Just in case you know acting is something that he doesn't want to do in the future," sounding quite concerned for her son. Weird, I thought she would be absolutely buzzing for Parker and his new exciting role, I almost feel this urge to defend him but Jake beats me to it. "I think Parker will be an actor all his life, a successful one too, his new film looks great!" Jake says with a smile and everyone agrees.

The rest of the afternoon is just spent lounging around the house and unpacking my bag. I get my own room here, I have since I was a little girl. Jake and Parker are always made to share a room, the room still has the same old pine framed bunkbeds and the matching red tartan duvet. My room hasn't changed either but I have a double bed with beautiful white furniture and baby blue bedding to match. I always wanted this bedroom in my house in London, I think that's why I loved coming so much as a kid. It's surprising how quickly the day goes by when you do absolutely nothing and how tired that makes you. It's only 9pm and I just want to go to bed. "You look tired Char," Julie says to me, gently tucking in a loose curl from my braid behind my ear. "Just go to bed, there's a lot to happen tomorrow, its paintball time!" she smiles back and waving her fingers at me like a fake gun. The fucking paintball competition. I forgot all about that. Shit. I say my goodnights and head to bed. Finally taking my hair out of this pathetic excuse for a braid and let my wild curls flow, putting on my old football shorts from when I was fifteen, slightly tighter than they should be, but I don't care and my extra-large plain white tee.

This is why I don't go to bed early, its 2 a.m and I am starving. I know I shouldn't eat but if I have to listen to my stomach make any more whale mating noises I might just be sick. I try to be as quiet as I possibly can getting out of my bed and creek past Jakes bedroom, making my way down the stairs pausing every time the stair makes a noise. I'm finally at the bottom and just have to make it past one more bedroom, Nanny Sue and Grandpa Rick's. I remember doing this vividly as a child with Jake and Parker and here is where we would always get caught out on our mission for the midnight snacks. Much to my surprise I don't hear a noise come from the room, maybe that was only a thing when I was a child. Quite smug with myself I reach the kitchen and pour myself some cereal. "It's two o'clock in the morning and you're down here eating cereal?" I hear a laugh coming from the kitchen table. I pause in my tracks, not wanting to turn around yet. I know that voice and I know that laugh, its Parker.