You belong to me

Chapter 18 - Charlotte

Never have I wanted to curl up more into a little ball and disappear more than I ever have in my life until now. Everything is Parker and Mckenna, I may as well have just not come, if it meant I would be awkwardly lurking in the background, dressed up like an A lister but no one knows who I am. Parker sure isn't going to show me off to anyone after part of the conversation I heard, "normal ass girl," keeps playing over in my head. I haven't smiled once on this red carpet and the doors to the venue are getting closer and closer, I can't wait for them to swallow me so I can disappear. As soon as we get behind the doors Parker grabs my hands, and holds them tight, forcing me to look at him. He gives me some bullshit about how they only wanted photos of him and Mckenna and with every word he says I just want to scream or cry or potentially both at him. "How fucking dare you," I pluck up the courage to say, a sickening feeling is churning in my stomach and my vision is blurring from tears in my eyes. I don't want to cry, this makeup is too pretty to cry in. I can just about make out Parker's face and he looks sad, very sad. "Charlotte please, let me explain..." Parker begs before Mckenna butts right in, "You two, stop it right now, sort this out when we get out of here, you'll be the talk of the night if you continue like this," she warns both of us. You know that might just be the most intelligent thing that Mckenna has ever said. I'm going to do just that, pretend as though I'm everything Parker has ever wanted and dangle it right in front of his face.

I'm literally in a roomful of the biggest celebrities I can ever think of, there's performers dangling from the ceiling in some kind of ribbon/rope contraption's, there's waiters just walking around with shots and drinks, literally handing them out to you, completely free of charge, it's madness. If I wasn't so upset and mad at Parker I would probably be enjoying myself. I hate that Parker has taken this away from me, I know I never wanted to be part of this life but any normal person would kill to be where I am but I just want to go home. "Smile girl," Mckenna squeals at me, she's so fucking fake. I don't know why I ever thought she would be my friend. I down a shot, then another and then another. I know this alcohol is going to smack me sometime soon as I'll regret taking them all so fast, but at this point I'll do anything to make me not feel like this. "You might want to slow down there," someone whispers in my ear. It's not a British accent so I know it's not Parker, he's American but I don't recognize the voice at all. I slowly turn around and none other than JT is staring back at me. I'm dying inside that probably one of the biggest rappers in the world just whispered in my ear. His skin is so perfect in person, not a blemish in sight. His perfect braids, dark brown eyes and shiny white teeth and glimpse of tattoos poking through his white shirt. "I can handle it," I smile back at JT. He raises his eyebrow and lets out a laugh, "British huh?" he comments. "That's right," I reply, I can't believe how cool I am being but on the inside, I'm just waiting for this alcohol to hit so I can be the real me, and probably embarrass myself. "Well does Miss British have a name?" JT asks me, "Charlotte," I say, still managing to keep my cool. "So what are you? Like a model or something?" he asks me. Oh my, JT thinks I'm a model but he has no idea I'm actually just a 'normal ass girl' who happens to be dating Parker Kingston. Speaking of Parker, I can see him staring at me, marching his way over to the bar to where a very oblivious JT has his back turned against him.

Parker does not look impressed but he quickly shifts his expression upon greeting JT, smacking him on the back and giving him some kind of bro hug, "JT my man," Parker gushes in this over emphasized British accent. "Parker, sup my dude, I was just chatting to a fellow Brit, Charlotte," he smiles at me, "Do you know her?" JT obliviously asks Parker, but before Parker can answer he carries on, "I know she's a model, she's just denying it but sheesh look at her," JT grins at me, looking me up and down and I can see the jealously all over Parker's face. This is his chance to show the world I am his, in front of the biggest rapper that is clearly hitting on me, that I belong to him. "Yeah I know Charlotte, she's a childhood friend," Parker says, not breaking eye contact with me. "A childhood friend," I repeat back to Parker, not losing eye contact. "Nice seeing you man, I gotta find Mckenna," Parker smiles at JT and glares at me and walks away, disappearing to the dance floor and from the blur of my tears. "Damn baby girl, don't cry, it's New Years," JT fusses over me, wiping away a tear that fell down my face. "I'm sorry, I just, I have to go," I mumble as I walk away from the bar.

I didn't even think about how to leave one of these events, do celebrities get Ubers? Oh God, I hope I don't have to awkwardly walk back down the red carpet. "Excuse me, do you know how to get out of here without being seen?" I ask a very straight faced security guard. He looks down at me and analyzes me from head to toe. "Are you in danger ma'am?" he sternly asks. "In danger? What no? I just need to go home," I stammer, as I can feel the alcohol take over my body. "Follow me," he very robotically replies. I try to walk as though I didn't just down five shots at the bar roughly fifteen minutes ago, but I can feel myself slightly staggering. I can feel a hand placed on my back, "Parker?" I call out, hoping he's seen me and wants to leave too, "No ma'am, it's JT, let me take you home. I got this," he nods at the security guard and grabs a hold of my hand. "My driver can come get us out back and we can get you home," I begin to giggle, here it is, the embarrassment. "I'm not a model, really, that's not even me being humble, I'm just a normal ass girl as Parker's manager called me, I'm literally an art student, Parker's just a dick," I slur. JT laughs at me, as he helps me into his car. "So you is Parker's girl, or y'all just fighting?" he asks me. He has just a calming voice, it's so soft and reassuring. "I...i...I'm not sure what I am. We were fine until today when he manager rang him and said I'm too normal and he needs to be with Mckenna, but he doesn't know that I heard that conversation, and now he's ignoring me and calling me his childhood friend, when I thought I was his girlfriend, and now I'm in New York and oh my I've talked far too much, sorry." I blurt out.

Hours have passed and I've been talking about life with JT, it doesn't feel like it's been hours and I feel completely sober now too. "Shit, it's 1 minute until New Years," JT laughs, "Yeah and we're sat eating McDonald's burgers in your car," I laugh back. A sudden wave of guilt takes over my body when I think about Parker, I haven't done anything wrong, I'm only sat talking to JT, it's not as if I've made any romantic moves or anything. Parker probably doesn't even know I've left. Shit, he's going to be so worried about me. I decide to text him, 'I've left, we need to talk," I send. Fireworks explode in the sky above us, as I watch through the sunroof of JT's car. "Happy New Year," He smiles at me, clinking our burgers together. "Happy New Year to you too," I smile back. I came to New York to spend it with Parker but instead I'm sat in JT's car eating a double cheeseburger watching fireworks through a sunroof.