You belong to me

Chapter 24 - Charlotte

I can't believe Parker is actually here. He looks different, I can't quite put my finger on what it is but I can't stop sneakily looking at him. "Babe, I have to take this call, I'll be right back," JT says as he kisses my cheek. I know I shouldn't really entertain Parker and he did seem very awkward when I spoke to him, I've also never seen Parker like this before. Our relationship was better when I thought he had just forgot about me while he lived his life in New York and I was just an art student in Edinburgh but part of me wants to talk to him. "Char, come here!" Jake calls me over and I glance at Parker who is standing next to Jake as he looks me in the eye before quickly looking at the floor, avoiding me still. "What's the bet that Nanny fancies JT?" Jake asks me laughing, "Who fucking doesn't," Parker mumbles under his breath. "What you say there, mate?" Jake asks, still laughing. "Nothing," Parker says, taking a swig from the bottle. I feel that ball of fire in my stomach again and I remember just how angry Parker can really make me. "He said, 'who fucking doesn't' and you know what Parker? Any normal fucking person would fancy him, he's ten times better than a dick like you! Where is your precious Mckenna anyways?" I snarl at him. Jake awkwardly sips his drink as he stands between me and Parker and to be honest I'm so pleased he is between us. "Mckenna isn't here because there is no Mckenna," Parker slowly says, still looking at the floor, twirling the bottle of whisky in his hands. His fidgeting is a clear indication that he feels awkward and doesn't want to be in this situation.

I can't stop thinking about Mckenna or the lack of Mckenna I should say. I don't know how long they've been broken up, or if they ever even really dated, either way, I can't stop thinking about it. I feel JT's arms wrap around my waist and his head placed on top of my head, and he takes in a deep sigh. "Do you think I should do the big boy thing and talk to Parker or be the asshole he was and just ignore him?" he asks me. If truth be told, I couldn't think of anything worse than JT talking to Parker because I know that conversation involves me. My mouth however says something completely different, "Maybe you could, it might make it less tense," I say as JT releases his arms from my waist and goes to talk to Parker. I see the look of panic in Jake's face when he sees JT walking towards him and Parker and I laugh. "Are you mad?!" Jake mouths to me as he walks towards me and I just shrug my shoulders. We both stand in the corner of the kitchen and try to make out what JT and Parker are saying. "Parker looks pissed," Jake says, "Yeah...yeah he does," I reply as I over analyze Parker's scrunched up face and his jaw clenched so I can clearly see his jaw muscles. "Y'know Char, I know what Parker did was pretty shitty and all that but be honest with me, do you still kinda like y'know, love him?" Jake timidly asks. Without even a hesitation I reply, "Yes," I hear Jake's mouth open, "I mean, no, I mean...oh Jake I don't know!" I hiss, as I take a large gulp of champagne. "That's what I thought," Jake mutters. An awkward bro hug between JT and Parker occurs and I look at Jake who gives me the same look of dread back.

"Well... how was that?" I ask JT as soon as he walks back over. "Yeah it was alright, him and Mckenna are no more and not to lose you, shit like that," he replies, "Don't lose me?" I ask, "Yeah, not to lose you, he's just talking nice cause he was the fool," "Yeah just talking nice," I repeat. Parker told JT not to lose me, that's definitely not just him talking, that's him hurting. I know Parker well enough to know he wouldn't say that without meaning it. The rest of my graduation party I faked a smile and all the small talk with family members I haven't seen in years. JT said his goodbyes as he has to be in Paris in the morning but promised he will be back in a couple of days. The rest of the party are starting to slowly leave until it's just my mum, dad, Jake, Julie left downstairs. My Nanny has gone off to bed, I think she had too much champagne. "Parker leave?" I ask Julie. "Erm no, well I don't think so, I'm not sure where he is Char," she says. I check the back garden and he's not there, or anywhere down stairs for that matter, he must have left without saying anything. Since everyone has left, I can finally take this dress off and wear my lounge clothes. I've already unzipped part of my dress as I make my way up the stairs and I can't wait to be in clothes that are comfortable to bloat in. I untie my hair from my bun as I kick my bedroom door open, and much to my surprise Parker is sitting on my bed. "Holy shit, Parker!" I shout as I hold my dress up, to prevent it falling down since I unzipped it. "What are you doing in here?" I ask, still quite startled. Parker sways back and forth as he stands up, "I was waiting to talk to you without being interrupted," he stammers. "Right? Well?" I snap. "I miss you Charlotte, like a lot and I'm sorry, I really am," he says and I can smell the whisky lingering after each breath he takes. "Parker, you're drunk," I say, looking at him in the eyes. "That may be true but I don't care, I know what I said and I feel it. I hate myself, I hate the new me, I hate that the new me fucked up things with you. The old Parker inside of me is killing me that I blew my chances with the love of my life and now you're with J fucking T and you're not my Charlotte anymore, you're his," Parker says as tears pour from his eyes.

I don't even know why I'm crying now, but something inside of me feels broken seeing Parker this way. Without even thinking I walk towards him and wrap my arms around him as I feel him sob in my arms. "Stop crying, you know I don't like it when you cry," I say, through tears myself. "I'll never get you back, will I?" Parker asks, as he looks at me through his bright blue eyes that are all bloodshot from crying. Without even thinking I learn forward and kiss his lips. I quickly pull away at the realization of what I just did and stand away from Parker. "I'm...I'm sorry I didn't..." I stutter. "I won't tell," Parker says as he gets up and walks closer to me. "Parker, this isn't a good..." He cuts me off by kissing me again, pushing me against my bedroom door. We both pause with our foreheads touching, "Parker, you're drunk and I have a boyfriend, we can't," I say, pulling away.