Whodunit

Chapter 9

Awkward did not do Dmitri and Anisa's current situation justice.

Anisa tried. She really did, but just looking at his face brought back so many painful memories. Sprung up so much negative energy in her heart and spirit. Though, she wouldn't let him know that. He couldn't know she still hurt every time she thought of him. Every time she remembered how much she truly loved him unconditionally. He didn't deserve her love or her forgiveness. No matter how much she wanted to give him both.

"So, how's school going?" he asked, still trying to make conversation in their tense alone time.

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Got a few B's and a C," she said as if ashamed. "My anxiety and depression really kicked in after everything last year. You know like getting shot at, what happened at your cousin's house that night, and being betrayed over and over by you..."

Dmitri stared at the ground as they slugged along. He adjusted the elastic of his joggers and unconsciously slipped his hands inside. The gesture comforted him. Gave him the warmth he'd craved since birth. His older sister laughed whenever she caught him doing it. She claimed he even used to put his hands in his diaper as a baby. He'd been finding a way to make up for his mother's warmth and detachment all his life. Good thing he never sucked his thumb.

"Ay, look—"

"Please—"

"No, let me finish," he asserted, stopping to face her but still avoiding eye contact. "I'm sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I just...I don't know. I was trippin' hard."

Anisa stared at him with her arms crossed and fleet planted firmly in the mud. She waited for him to continue. To take actual accountability for his actions. To address every hurtful, deceitful thing he did. To explain himself and show that he understood what it did to her mental.

But he didn't.

He took a chance and looked up into her face. "Can you forgive me?" he asked.

Anisa sighed and folded her arms tighter against her chest. "Yes," she began, "but I'm still working on it. I told myself I'd never talk to you again, you know. I thought I had forgiven you for me, but seeing you, being around you has brought up a lot of pain I thought I buried."

"I get it," Dmitri breathed as she walked ahead. He caught up to her and tried to will himself to say more but admitting that he did so much wrong was harder than he imagined.

"Anyway," she said, trying to think of another topic. If they had to talk to each other, she wanted it to be about something that called him out for his toxicity. He needed to know what he needed to heal and let go of if he ever planned on truly being a better person.

"Did you hear about Tammy?" he asked.

Perfect. She knew the history between him and Tammy—a history that he desperately needed to process and heal.

"No, I didn't."

"She was killed last night," he mumbled, his hands finding the inside of his pants again. "Someone broke into her house and basically gutted her."

"What?" Anisa stopped, her mouth agape. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, shit crazy." He shook his head and kept walking.

"Well, how do you feel considering..." Anisa drifted as she lingered behind.

Dmitri's chest caved in. "Considering what?" he turned around with a raised brow.

Anisa marched closer. "Considering what she did to you," she tried to keep her tone gentle, but the story hurt her deeply which angered her every time she thought of it. Being sad made her mad.