The Worst Storyteller Ever

The Prince and the Stallion

I am Gregory. And I am the greatest storyteller ever. Unfortunately, at the moment, I am nothing but a Camp assistant in this large mass of ridiculousness called Camp Kertwage. Or so is the form I choose to take to bring this glorious tale of true heroes. I do not speak of fake camp monsters, but—

There is no need for an introduction. Get on with your stupid story.

Shut up! boy in a blue shirt. It is my story to tell, not yours.

I breathed out.

You don't have to say what you are doing.

You too, girl in dreads, shut up. And also the rest of you. Boy in a varsity jacket, girl with glasses, and girl with the purple ribbon."

Aww, thank you. the girl with the purple ribbon giggled. Smiling sheepishly. God have mercy. It is not a—never mind. Back to my story. There—"

You have a funny name, the girl with glasses teased.

Sounds like the name of a witch, said the boy in a varsity jacket.

A. It is not a name of a witch. And B. It is wizard not witch. A male magician is called a wizard.

So you are a wizard. That's so chill, man. The boy in a varsity jacket high-fived his friends.

You don't have to say everything we are doing, said the girl with glasses.

Yes, I have to. And No, I am not a wizard.

So what's your last name? asked the boy in the blue shirt.

Catspine.

They all burst into loud laughter that went on for minutes.

That's totally a wizard's name, the girl in dreads pointed out.

And my shirt is purple, not blue.

No one cares. Will you all shut up, and let me start my story.

Okay, Wizard-man, the boy in a varsity jacket mocked. Still laughing at me. But not for so long.

I took in a deep breath.

Once upon a time, there lived a little girl with six cats—

Was her name Catspine too? the boy in the blue shirt cut in curtly. I know. It's a good rhyme.

I cleared my throat. Dogs. Six dogs, not cats.

But I love cats, the girl with the purple ribbon cried out.

Okay. She lived with six cats.

Make up your mind, man, is it cats or dogs? The boy in a varsity jacket demanded.

She lived with six animals. Cats and dogs. She had no parents—"

I wish I had no parents, said the girl in dreads. It came out so sad. I had half a mind to give her a hug.

No way. Don't you dare! I do have pepper-spray, the girl in dreads threatened.

Were her cats more than her dogs? asked the girl with the purple ribbon, with the innocence of a child. Well, she was no more than eight.

I am ten, the girl with the purple ribbon retorted.

No one knows how many they were.

But you just said six cats, the nosy girl in dreads pointed out.

He also said six dogs, said Mr. Funny guy in a varsity jacket.

Thank—

There were cats with dog faces, I answered.