May 10, 2019
SELENE, MITCH, AND HARRY WERE ALL IN CALIFORNIA NOW.
She hadn't seen Mitch just yet due to her being at the studio with Tyler, Frank, and a few other people who were listening to the album together. She had missed her best friend if she was honest. The two hadn't hung out a lot now that they were both seeing someone. It was understandable though. The two guitarists had decided to hang out once they got done with everything that they had to do.
Selene sat beside Frank, her head moving to the beat. They were listening to the album in order and they had gotten to the song she had fully wrote for him. It was RUNNING OUT OF TIME.
"Runnin' out of time, runnin' out of time
To make you love me."
It was pretty self explanatory what this one line meant. She tried so hard to have her feelings validate by him but yet it never happened. She was more of an income source to her more than anything.
"I been runnin' out of spells (yeah)
To make you love me
Secrets (run)
(Run, run)
(Keep it up) to make you love me (ah)
Wade in your water (wade in your water)
And waves wash over me
I drift to the deep end
Don't save, don't save, don't save
It's a low tide (I'll be fine)
I found peace in drownin'"
She remembered when Nate tried to drown her. Hell, it happened twice. She didn't even know how she had let it get that far. Being abused both mentally and physically and dealing with a mental illness on top of that didn't help her situation at all. The second time, she had almost accepted that she was going to die. Almost.
Eventually the song went off and then another played, the next one after that being A BOY IS A GUN*. It was her favorite off the album so far. She knew it was because she felt every word that Tyler wrote. Their situations might have been different but it still applied in the same way.
"Take your hoodie off, why you hide your face from me?
Make your fucking mind up, I am sick of waiting patiently.
How come you the best to me? I know you the worst for me."
Nate had an hoodie on the entire relationship. He was hiding who he was really was. He had so many mood swings to the point where Selene didn't even know what was an act and what wasn't. She knew that he was horrible but somehow, he was the best thing she had then. He gave her a temporary home—one that she could've gotten herself with the amount of money she made from ghostwriting and making music under her name back then. But she was still young and he told her that he would handle it. If handling meant taking some of the money she rightfully earned. She obviously realized after that he wasn't ideal or even dateable due to his constant gaslighting and manipulative tendencies that eventually tore her apart.
God, she hated when she knew what he was doing then but still listened to him. Her brain and heart told her two different things and she had hated herself for a long time after that. She wouldn't know where she would be right now if she didn't make that phone call that one night as she sat on the cold bathroom floor, tears falling down her face.
She hated thinking about that night but the song made it linger in the back of her head.
"Stay the fuck away from me.
I ain't going to repeat myself but stay the fuck away from me," the song played.
Frank turned his head and eyed Selene as she just stared at the table in front of her, no emotion even visible on her face. He softly tapped her shoulder, making her turn.
"You okay?" he asked. She softly smiled and nodded.
"I'm fine. Just really into the music," she answered. Frank nodded and turned back to the people he was taking to.
