"That's kinda gay"
Everyone around me laughs and so do I,
because I don't know what 'gay' means,
and I assume it's funny if everyone laughs.
I'm in 5th grade and have never heard the word gay.
"Dude don't be so gay"
Kids laugh and even though I don't pay them much mind,
I know gay isn't something to laugh at.
I am in 6th grade and have just realized
that gay is and never has meant stupid,
or what the boys said it does.
"Why do you act so gay all the time bro?"
I tense and speed up.
I'm sure the boy who said that is not meaning to be rude,
but I feel uncomfortable with people using gay as an insult.
I notice my friend tenses a bit as we walk by.
We are in 7th grade and she is worried to tell me she loves differently.
"God why are you so GAY? "
I tense. I falter, clenching my fists,
starting to turn before I think better of it.
I am in 8th grade, I have only just realized why
that word always bothered me so much.
"Man, that's so fucking gay"
I inhale, exhale, close my eyes.
How long does it take them
to realize
that that word
isn't theirs to laugh at,
to use like an insult?
Like it's a bad thing
to be different...
Is it?
And I've heard something like this every day,
at least three times a day,
since that first time,
in 5th grade.
...
I'm still here.
Same place, same people.
It never ends.
...
This doesn't feel right.
It never will.
YOU ARE READING
Poems II
PoetrySecond volume of poems based on my life. Is it just me or have my poems gotten more depressing? WARNING: May contain triggering material. Read at your own risk. Credits: @TheBookworm1237 for the inspiration to write my own poems and her criticism th...
