synopsis: a little bout of reminiscing goes a long way.
*
the thought takes root in eddy's mind long before he figures out that it's there in the first place, and so he's surprised when the question comes spilling out all casually just like that, like the answer doesn't mean the absolute world to him.
"do you ever regret doing twoset?"
brett's eyes flicker open. he looks like a grumpy feline roused indignantly from a good nap, but he's not saying anything to cease the line of inquiry. well, he's already broached the topic; there's nothing to it but to continue, then.
"you could've been a soloist, i mean," eddy murmurs, "or even just stayed first chair if you hadn't left the orchestra. or concertmaster. forever and ever. you'd have a stable career if you didn't try the youtube shtick with me, so." he raises his eyebrows: do you regret it?
the other man blinks once, twice. "no, i don't. there's so much shit i regret, but doing twoset isn't one of them." the lines of his eyes soften, his mouth curling at the corners like he's hearing something in eddy's words that hasn't made it out eddy's throat. "i don't regret anything where you're concerned."
at that, eddy's throat closes up. fuck. he can't say anything as an immediate response at the moment, so he opts to nod sharply. brett closes his eyes again.
"why? do you regret doing it?"
when the question's inevitably thrown back at him, eddy's already prepared his response. "no. i'd never regret doing it." everything unspoken simmers between them in the late afternoon sun, inaudible but heard and known all the same. "all these years, it's been tough, but it's all been worth it."
brett snorts. "yeah, i won't say things have been a walk in the park. take the world tour planning. take the apparel marketing stuff. take the fucking kickstarter campaign." he shudders, and eddy feels every tremor minutely. "my spine will never forget the feel of hard bench underneath it."
"no regrets, still, in the light of remembering shit like that?"
"nah. still all been worth it." the shorter man rearranges himself on the couch, his head a welcome weight on eddy's lap, strands of hair splayed across the fabric of eddy's pyjamas like they belong there. "everything's been an uphill struggle, save for one thing."
eddy tilts his head, curious. "what's that?"
"loving you." brett opens his eyes and smiles, then: sunshine incarnate. "that's the easy part."
and when it comes to the truest thing he has ever heard put into words, there is nothing else for it. eddy leans down, presses his mouth to that siren call of a grin, and thanks every deity out there that this: this comes easy to him too.
YOU ARE READING
who could've thought i'd get you
Fanfictionmy collection of twoset ficlets and drabbles for fictober 2020.