who could've thought i'd get you

3 | "you did this?"

synopsis: a jewel thief and a special agent walk into a museum. there's a punchline in there somewhere, but they're too busy awkwardly flirting for us to figure it out. 

*

"there is reliable information," the chief had droned out to a room full of police investigators that evening, "that suggests the thief who calls himself v.k. is planning a heist at the new nouveau splendor exhibit in a few hours. yang, since this is your case, you go scope out the area and, if possible, catch him in the act."

and that's how brett finds himself dispatched to the nearby museum half an hour ahead of the criminal's supposed timeframe to arrive at the scene and steal some priceless jewelry. maybe there's something about showing up ahead of time, something about how the early bird catches the worm, because he also finds himself catching the thief fussing about the main entryway to the exhibit, finds himself idly admiring the lithe, strong curves of the man's body before he snaps back to the present, and. um.

fuck, but that's a criminal right there, and he'd been checking him out. fuck.

he mentally slaps himself. back to the very serious matter at hand.

it's strange that the man he knows to be the notorious thief v.k. is hanging around the area he's supposedly robbing for more than the amount of time it should take him to yank one of the stunning pieces of jewelry laid out around the room. he's even wearing a glittery-evening sort of mask over his eyes, leaving the lower half of his face uncovered. he looks kinda like zorro, which is a weird thought to have.

brett takes one silent step forward. two. three. just as he's about to whip out his gun and yell something suitably police-like, brett finally sees exactly what's going on. and stops dead in his tracks.

v.k is painting words on some fabric strung up the pillars. the banner says: this robbery's dedicated to agent yang, the formidable tom to my discerning jerry! there's a shitty attempt at drawing the cartoon characters underneath the words.

"what the—"

"shit!" the paintbrush in the man's hand falls to the ground, clattering against the polished tile. it leaves flecks of green in its wake; brett's pretty sure that's about to become some poor janitor's nightmare come morning, but he's still too shell-shocked by the whole thing. "you're not supposed to be here," v.k. says, sounding indignant. "i mean—yet."

"you're not supposed to be here either," brett murmurs absentmindedly, mouth spouting words on autopilot as he stares and stares and stares at the message dripping green paint in front of him.

"ah, well." the taller man shrugs. "my not-supposed-to-be-here thing's already a given; i'm a thief, remember?"

given the months and months brett's spent as the special agent assigned to the v.k. case file, this isn't exactly how he'd imagined his very first conversation with v.k. would unfold. frankly, he'd thought they'd exchange a few terse words when he manages to bring the man to justice. not, well, chatting all casually like they're neighbors or workplace acquaintances and not, in fact, on opposite sides of the law.

brett doesn't know what to make of it.

"um." his gaze flickers back and forth between the man and the banner. "you did this?"

"who the fuck else could've done this, a preschooler tour guide?" he can't see v.k.'s expression clearly from where the other stands shrouded in the shadows, but there may be a slight hint of offense taken there, he thinks. "of course it was me!"

"yeah, okay. it—it looks really great." brett takes a deep, steadying breath. drags out all the training he's had and begins to take stock of the details presented to him by the environment.

there's a banner with a dedication on it, seemingly made in his honor. there's cases upon cases of glimmering gems on velvet cushions all prime for the taking and yet no thievery is going around at all. and v.k. is—

he's just. he's just standing there. his foot tapping wildly against the marble floors, mouth a frowny thin line, fingers twitching—like time's running out, but he's still waiting for something. and god, brett really shouldn't do this, doesn't think it's a possibility, doesn't even wanna think about what would happen if he'd jumped into the wrong conclusion, but just on the slightest off chance he might be right—

"if all you wanted was to get my attention," brett says lightly, like it's no big deal, like he's speaking to a horse that can get so easily spooked, "you could've just called, you know. sent a text or something."

it's worth every inch of potential mortification to see those cheeks flush red when the thief sputters, incomprehensible syllables tumbling out of his lips before he finally settles on: "shut up!"

"i mean, my number's on the public directory of the website—"

"i don't need it."

"are you sure, because i'm looking at a banner with my name on it, and—"

"i said i don't need it!"

brett raises his hands in surrender. "right. okay. okay." he pauses, clears his throat. "but i mean, it's there if you wanted it. not assuming anything, but you know."

v.k.'s smirk is positively filthy. "i'll keep that in mind." he taps his chin and then hums, slowly strolling forward to pluck a ruby-studded ring from the nearest display case. "oh, right, the real show for tonight."

at that, brett's law-abiding nature comes into the foreground so fast, he gets whiplash. "i can't let you take that," he begins, stepping forward and reaching for the piece of jewelry. his fingers just barely miss the other man's hand before the ring's hoisted up to the air, out of his reach.

the thief chuckles. "oh, don't worry, it's all yours." he pushes into brett's personal space and presses a quick kiss to his cheek, pulling away with a shit-eating grin. "that's all what i wanted for tonight anyway."

and.

what.

it's brett's turn to sputter wildly, mouth opening and closing like a window with faulty blinds. "what the hell was that?"

v.k. steps away, tips an imaginary hat in brett's direction as he begins to walk backwards into the shadows again. "let's have dinner one day, and maybe i'll tell you."

the thief disappears. there is faint shouting coming from down the hall.

and if brett sits at the foot of the fire exit twiddling his thumbs for a good minute or two as the alarms start blaring off in the distance—well. brett's not really letting the criminal get away with this, not really. he's only. . . giving him a head start. that's all.

(v.k. did promise dinner.)

(v.k had also swiped a bracelet with vs1 diamonds and colombian emeralds behind brett's back, but that is neither here nor there. brett makes him give it back much, much later, anyway.)