see you in my dreams

𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆

I really shouldn't have done that. And I know, I know it'll come back to haunt me. But I'm so tired of the school viewing me as a bully. I'm not.

He came again last night, but it was so..it was like I couldn't see him, I could just hear his voice, I remember smiling, it was light, his tone made me feel safe, just wish I could have seen him.

I nervously take a seat, the first person I see, is Sarah, the pictures are still in my bag. The girls take a look at me, eager for me to wave them in the air and laugh. But I'm not like that.

'What is she doing?' I hear whispers as I stand up and walk to the bin, taking the pictures out and ripping them into tiny shreds, Beca insisted I print them out; so we could really spread them around school. What a bitch.

On the way back to my seat I avoid their eye. Beca glares at me, at one point I almost hear a hiss. I try to avoid them and get on with my work but it's unbearable. The only friend group I had is now gone, and I start to regret my actions, when Sarah looks at me, and mouths a thank you, I smile at her.

My eyes keep averting to the girls, Beca's however, I can see literal sparks, it's almost as if I can see what she's thinking, her mind working like clockwork on a way to make me miserable. I never liked her, nobody likes her.

I'm stopped when the bell goes, and as Sarah stands up I grab her sleeve quickly to stop her, the girls wait for me outside, hissing in their little group like cobras.

"I'm so sorry, for everything Sarah. I don't expect you to forgive m-

I'm cut off when she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into a hug, I feel so warm for the first time in years.

But a chill runs down my spine when I see them. The reason I stayed with them was so I wouldn't be targeted. Cowardly I know..

Beca comes storming over to me, grabbing my wrist so hard I wince. "You better watch your back, because we are gonna make your life a living hell. You bitch." She hisses in my ear, pulling me in so hard she catches my hair. She seems to be satisfied by my fear.

"Get the fuck off me. I'm not afraid of you beca." I laugh, to hide my nerves and walk away, she shouts behind me that it's not over, even though I already knew that.

The day is so so long, and tedious. But eventually at long last, the bell rings to go home. I leave class and run down the hallway, out of the doors and into the open air, it's so sunny today it's beautiful. Sarah catches my eye and I go over to her

"Hey..do you want to come over to mine tonight? We could, go somewhere?"

Her little quiver that she does when she's nervous turns into a smile, and she nods, still a little anxious, I'm surprised she's given me a chance.

"Right well I need to make a few stops but, I should be back at mine by 7? Just knock on the door and I'll answer" My smile is so natural, and I feel radiant.

"Okay, thank you Hannah" she grins at me and then runs off towards the bus, I watch her go, knowing that for once I've done the right thing.

ONE HOUR LATER:

"What have I done? I don't know anything about Sarah..the girls, they were so nice to me...and horrible to everyone else, which is why you did that Hannah" I say to myself, when the door knocks

I quickly make my bed and run downstairs to the door. "ONE SECOND!!" I say as I unlock it and pull it open, greeting Sarah before my smile literally falls off my face...because it's not Sarah.

I try to slam the door, pushing it as hard as I can but Beca forces her way in and grabs me by the hair, shoving me against the wall, snarling at me.

"You really thought I would just leave you alone? You betrayed us Hannah! And you know what happens to traitors" she's so close to me I can feel her breath. And I'm scared. I can't deny that anymore.

"Beca I'm sorry but the way you...we, treated Sarah was disgusting! I wanted to make things right" I protest as she tightens her grip, making me wince in pain. My hair folding over and into her palm, wispy and shredded.

"Don't act so innocent Hannah. You were involved too, and you know that all I have to do is spread that picture around school and your reputation here will be ruined." She laughs in my face, not a maniacal laugh, more of a shrill shriek that slices through me

"Beca please..." I try to push her off me but she won't let go, her nails digging into my shoulder

"All. You had to do. Was spread those fucking texts, it was that simple, but no you just HAD to act like some kind of saint didn't you? You always have, innocent little Hannah baker wouldn't ever hurt a fly" as she's saying all this her grip is tightening both on my hair and my shoulders, I'm increasingly uncomfortable.

"We did enough Rebecca, just give it a rest." I yell at her before realising what I've done. I immediately curse at myself in my mind but it's too late. Her eyes darken, any light that was previously in them, is now gone. She throws me to the floor in a fit of rage before grabbing me by my jacket sleeve and yanking me towards her.

She's so dark, her presence. Anything inviting about her once is now long gone.

She leaves me sobbing on the floor, with one final message.

"If you ever call me re...that name again I swear I will make your life a living hell, I did it once I can do it again. I made everyone hate you, and I can do that again. You're nothing without us baker, you'll realise that tomorrow in school, how lonely you are, that's just you isn't it. Lonely."