𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙨│𝘴.𝘵

˙ǝnɓoloɹd

it's the night of november 6th. It had been a rather good day. I passed my science test earlier in the day. just barely, though. I've been trying so hard to study for it. I've been trying to study so hard for everything lately. It used to just come so easily to me, i understood school, i didn't have to work so hard. I guess that was last year, maybe its so hard now cause its not 6th grade anymore.

It was a good night too. Because i passed my test, my mom let me have my boyfriend, troy, over. I hadn't been able to see him all week, i cant focus when he's around. We're just sitting on my roof. Looking up at the stars, in silence. I cant help but feel like i did something wrong. When hes in a good mood hes very talkative, he likes to talk to me about anything he can. Well, not talk TO me, but talk at me, i guess. He likes to overthrow my voice, and doesnt like it when i put my opinion out there. But i get it, i do.

He hasnt talked much since he came. I miss hearing him go on and on about whatever hes mad about. I dont want him to be mad at me. And if he is, i wanna fix it. So i take my eyes off of the stars and advert them to him. Im just staring at the side of his head, so i try to quietly find out what i did.

"Troy, did i-" i try to calmly start, but get caught off guard when he immediately interrupts me. Saying, "you know what, sofia, you really piss me off. Okay? You really piss me off." not even making eye contact with me.

i take a few seconds to try to think about what i did to piss him off, but i honestly cant think of anything, i tried to be good, but hes still really mad at me. "Im sorry, i dont know what-" i try to plead, but again, not letting me get a word in, he interrupts me, facing me this time. "You told me the test answers were right, But i still failed. Who do you think you are?" he says, getting very noticeably angry.

"What? What do you mean? They were right, i mean- they worked for me-" i say, troy reaches into his backpack and pulls his test out, where he got an F. "ive been working my ass off, sofia. do you think this is funny?" he says, and im honestly confused, i dont even know whats going on, because i genuinely passed. "Troy, i swear, i passed, and i gave you the same answers i used, i tried really hard to help you," i say, trying to let him know i didnt mean to do anything. But he doesnt seem to buying it. "Here, come here, ill show you." i go back in my house through the window in my room, and troy follows, shaking with anger.

I reach into my backpack and get my test, which i got a B on. He reads through it, and throws it on my bed when hes done. I dont know what hes gonna do, when he gets mad at me, it doesnt end well. I usually have to tap into my moms makeup collection the next day. I grab troys paper and take a second to look at it, and realize he put the right answers in the wrong places. I show him and try to say, "troy, look, they switch the numbers up to make sure no one cheats." but he still gets mad at me and starts to yell and push me. I try to hush him and tell him my moms gonna hear but he doesnt care. He gets more mad and more aggressive with me, before he punches me, and i stop trying to talk back to him. I excpect him to apologize and comfort me like other times when hes hit me, but he just looks at me with disgust as i hold my now burning face. He opens my door and storms out of my house as i run after him. "Please, troy- please! Im sorry- i didnt know-" i try to calm him down, i dont know what he'll do if i dont calm him down. "Just shut the fuck up, sofia! You pissed me off, and its gonna take a while for me to forgive you-" troy says, getting angrier with every word, yelling at the top of his lungs to me. But he stops as the headlights of my older brothers car comes from up the road, and he jumps on his bike and rides off.

"Bye." i whisper, and sigh. Steve pulls into the driveway, and i step out of the way so he doesnt run me over. He turns his car off and gets out as i look at the ground, trying not to cry. "Was that the, the uh..." steve says, trying to find his words, "the walsh kid? Youre friends with him?" he asks. "Yeah. i mean- i guess." i say, not making eye contact.

"You okay?" he says, trying to not be a dickhead, i guess. "Yeah." i say. Just then will byers rides past our house. We make eye contact and he smiles at me, i give a little smile back, remembering when we were friends, up until the end of 6th grade. And he keeps riding home. I speed past steve into my house and i go straight to my room. I hear steve go to his room.

Me and steve arent really close. Id say we talk like three times a month. He drives me to school cause our moms always working and our dads always hungover. I feel like we both feel- actually, know, that the concept of family is absolute bullshit. And we cant wait to get out. Although, ive gotta say, im kinda scared for him to go to college and move out. Ill be left alone for the first time. Id say my dads hard on both of us, but hes harder on steve. Steve just takes it cause he feels like hes supposed to, and hes a life saver for that, but i cant imagine how it feels.

We dont really know eachother. I mean, obviously we KNOW eachother, but we dont really know eachother. Hes my older brother, i dont know how close we're supposed to be. I mean, i know his birthday. I know his address, i guess that doesnt count cause its the same as mine. I know we both get bad grades, cause neither of our tests ever go on the fridge. I know hes dating mike wheelers sister, nancy. I know hes apparently so cool. Even the kids in my grade know about him even though hes well into high school. Its weird.

I sit on my bed crying, with a bag of frozen peas on my eye. And i fall asleep like that.