Silently Screaming

Chapter 13: Purple Hyacinth

(A/N: Hey! I'm back again with another chapter! I'm so sorry for the delay but the updates will be faster now hopefully. I only had a vague outline of this chapter so bear with me on this one. Enjoy!)

Percy POV:

I put a hand to my cheek, feeling something run down.
Wet.
But maybe that was because of the rain.

The grey shirt I was wearing clung to my torso, the damp cloth uncomfortable against my skin and my feet squelched in my shoes that had been filled with water. My jeans stuck to my legs, the material becoming itchy and tense. My back was hunched, sticking to my skin, outlining my body, the creases of the fabric bumped up and down.

My hair was plastered to my face, its normal messy look becoming depressed as the rain pattered down onto me.
My lips were wet but dry at the same time and my tongue felt like a desert. Water droplets slipped down my fingers, splashing onto the ground, puddles forming at the sole of my converse.

And my eyes. I couldn't see. Everything was blurry. The rain was blocking my vision. The tears were too. My tears and the water from above mingling together, trickling down my cheek. And when they fell together, they mocked me. Silent yet echoing in my ears. Because they fell together. And being together-

Being together was something I couldn't have.

Yet here I was, helpless and cowering in an alleyway. Firmly seated on the pavement, feet placed in the street.
It was next to the hospital. If you exited the building and turned a right, ignoring all the stares you got from people with umbrellas as you trudged to the lonely, smelly alleyway next to it in the rain before your legs gave out then you'd be where I was sitting.

The smell was the only thing that made me want to leave.
There was a dumpster to the far end of the street. Two of them in fact, and they were filled to the brim, some bags of rubbish even lying on the road, their contents spilling out. And if the creature that was making a noise in the dump was a rat then I sure as heck was going to get out of here as soon as I could.

But I couldn't move. I was paralysed. Of what I had just seen and what was going to happen.
My fingers curled into fists and my jaw set, my dull eyes gaining back its colour. Though not in calm.
In anger.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
None of this was supposed to happen.
She wasn't supposed to forgive me.

How could she? How could anyone?
Why would she?

She wasn't supposed to forgive me just because I apologized. Just because I started helping her afterwards.
What about the past? Doesn't she realize? All the things I've done to her...
My nails dug into my palm, crescent shapes being embedded into it, pinching at my skin.
But I felt nothing. Nothing but anger. At myself and at her.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.
She wasn't supposed to magically become my friend after I found out her secret.
I stopped- Why did I stop? Why didn't I continue?
Because she had enough pain.

That was my reason. That was my stupid, cowardly reason. My only reason.
Is that really why I stopped all those months ago?
Because she was in enough pain?

I felt something sticky in my hands but kept my eyes focused on the ground. Staring at the puddle of water. Puddle of tears. Puddle of red...

She wasn't supposed to forgive me.
I hurt her.
I hurt her and I tore her down. For years I destroyed her.

I was war.

She was peace.

I was disaster.