Poem book

Why (slight edit?? idk)

TW: Suicide attempts if there's more lemme know

Drip

Drip

Drip

The only sound I hear at the moment

It's scary

I'm in the kitchen, washing dishes as I hear the drip of the facuet

It's always scary when your hear screaming and arguing

Things being thrown around

Only to suddenly grow quiet

That's what scares me

The quiet

When that happens the bad thoughts get to my head

What if he killed her?

What if she killed him?

What if I'm just crazy?

I'm not suppose to talk about this

I can get in trouble

I'm not even living in my house.

I'm staying at my great grandmas

I say that I'm staying here to help her.

It's only half the truth

I'm really staying here cause my house is inhabitable.

Holes in walls from fists and probably a body hitting them.

In the living room, there's a bullet hole.

That's from me.

I tried to kill myself.

I don't know what stopped me but I decided to shoot the wall.

Luckily the couch covers it.

I don't know how to tell them to stop.

Their son is outside crying, begging them to stop.

I go outside to bring him in.

I get yelled at for putting my hands on him and acting like his momma.

I can't talk to them about anything.

They lost my trust and that's on them.

So my answer to them for when they ask how am I feeling?

It will always be

I'm fine

Even with tears in my eyes

I'm fine

Even when I'm holding a bottle of pills in my hand

I'm fine

They believe me and go give my little brother attention

I don't blame them

They don't want him to wind up like me

A mistake

A burden

A disappointment

I can't be the perfect daughter to them

Yeah I said it

Daughter

So what?

I don't care any more.

Why should I?

Why should I care?