13 WINDOWS

Chapter 12 Part 2: CLOSER

ONE WEEK EARLIER

When Rupert finally regained access to his and Serena's condominium she was gone. She had left the blinds closed and a short note that hung by a magnet on the freezer door:

Dearest Rupert,

First, I just want you to know that I love you. But, I feel we need some time apart to sort out our feelings about this whole situation with you and your Mom.

My agent has sent me to Vancouver to shoot a part for a series. Yay! I'll be thinking of you as I sit here in the rain.

Whatever happens, I hope that we can always be friends. You are a very talented and smart guy. I know you didn't mean to have things turn out this way. When I return we can sort out the apartment situation.

take care

Serena xx00

For the next twenty minutes Rupert just stared at the carpet realizing his world was crumbling around him. Every few minutes or so he would look at the large windows with the blinds drawn and see a crack of the evening sun blistering through.

His rage would always build quickly. Suddenly he broke the silence by grabbing a half empty beer bottle and throwing it at the wall.

"FUCKING BULLSHIT!!" he yelled as the bottle smashed, fell and then cracked the glass of the side table by the couch. It was an expensive accident. He knew Serena would be even more angry at him now. 'Why did he have to be so compulsive?' he thought to himself.

After an initial moment of confusion and denial, Sandra's story had begun to have an impact on his psyche. Compounded with the polite 'Dear John' note on the fridge, he was having trouble processing his emotions. He was collapsing under the stress.

He ran his hands through his hair. He was sweating. Even with the air conditioning at full blast it was so humid. The stereotype of Canada was that it was cold, he thought to himself. But there was no escaping the dead heat in the middle of a Toronto summer. It was unbearable.

For a time Rupert lay down on the rug in a fetal position. 'This can't be happening,' he thought. Again, another failed relationship! Serena was his dream girl. He just couldn't ever seem to make relationships work. His obsessions would always interfere at some point.

He splashed some water on his face while he listened to CP24 on the TV, the local 24 hour news channel. Nineteen people had been shot in Scarborough, a suburb of Toronto. One of the worst incidents of gun violence the city had ever had. Not surprising. The city was in the grip of a two-week long heat wave. People were on edge.

He tried to call Serena on her cell phone, but it automatically went to her voicemail that was always full. He suddenly felt very alone. He had lost so many of his family members, and now his mother was unstable. He knew that he faced a lonely life ahead unless he could somehow gain control over his obsessions. And find a way to help his mother.

It was time for a new start. 'What better time than right now?' thought Rupert. He showered, put on a clean white button down shirt and a pair of his best jeans. He was not going to sit around in his underwear wallowing in self-pity. If only he could face what was out there...

He began opening all of the blinds. The city was laid out before him in the hazy evening dusk. All the lights of the apartment buildings switched on one by one. He breathed in slowly, counting his breath. He played some mellow R&B in the background to slow his heart rate down. Nina had told him that he was not allowed to listen to Rage Against the Machine or Public Enemy, two of his favourite bands, when he was experiencing anxiety. He chuckled slightly to himself at his doctor's orders. 'It will be Sade and Alicia Keys for tonight,' he thought.