𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑝 𝐵𝑟𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 // 𝑀𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑘

3.

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☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽☽

-Mikes pov-

It's been 4 weeks now living with Derek and his mom, everything's been good besides Derek always bossing me around. Jessica and my dad seem happy none the less, so that's one good thing. I try my best to keep my cool when Dereks around through.

Even though he gets on my last nerve, things have been...different lately...

Everything he does around me makes me nervous, when he use to bully and tease me about my height or about me being gay I didn't care but now I get a weird feeling in my stomach. And when he play fights with me or taunts me I get the same feeling...

I smile at my phone when he texts me and I get upset when he's gone. I get jealous when girls flirt with him. I hate not looking my best around him, whenever I wake up I lock my door so he can't come in and see me before I have time to get ready.

I always try so hard for him...

I don't know why though? I've never acted like this towards anyone, girl nor boy. So why him...?

The one person I thought I actually hated. The one person that actually hated me. Is turning out to be the one I actually might lo- argh...

I'm scared...

Not of him, of my feelings because I know I'm going to get heartbroken, rejected, and abandoned. I thought of telling him about my feelings but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I started cutting again, and I barely ate due to overthinking too much.

I let my imagination take over but the scars were deep and didn't heal as fast as I'd thought so I've been keeping my distance for the past 3 days.

-Dereks pov-

I have no clue what's going on with Mike, he's been ignoring me for the past few days and it's started to get to me. I love bullying and teasing him but maybe I went too far the last time, I started getting worried he might hate me. Not like he didn't before but still.

I waited till he was alone to talk to him, I had to wait till my mom and his dad left for a dinner date. It was like 10 o'clock at night and I knocked on his door.

"Mike.." I said softly, leaning my head against the door, he didn't say anything but I could see his shadow underneath the door from the TV light.

"Mike please open the door, I just wanna talk..." I heard him move around a lot then unlock the door, I opened it and walked in closing it behind me.

"Why are you ignoring me...? What'd I do this time?" I said looking at him as he sat down on his bed, he didn't say anything just looked down at his fingers.

He looked drained, and tired. He was a little skinny than the last time I remembered seeing him too.

I walked closer and paused for a second when I saw a razor on his desk covered in blood, then I looked at his black sweatshirt and sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"Take it off." My words caught him off guard and he flinched a little, he backed up onto his bed like I wasn't gonna be able to get him.

"Mike I'm not playin. If there are cuts on your arm me and you finna go at it." I glared at him, he turned to face away from me and that made my blood boil.

I grabbed him by his other arm and yanked him towards me, he looked scared but to be honest I didn't care right now, "Take it off now, before I beat the fuck outta you."

He sighed and took the sweatshirt off slowly, I looked down at his arm in shock, "why...?" He just looked away with sadness, guilt, regret and embarrassment in his watery eyes. I picked him up and took him to the bathroom sitting him on the counter.

I could hear him sniffling as I grabbed some peroxide and bandages, I frowned and turned back towards him. I poured the peroxide on his cuts making him yelp and whimper, I knew he was in pain but I had to put it on, It'd get infected if I didn't.

He took a deep shuttered breath and held it together as I wrapped the bandages around his arm, i wanted to hug him so badly but I didn't know if he wanted me to.

So I turned around, put the bandages and peroxide back, then started to walk out the bathroom when I felt him tug on my shirt, "Please, don't go..." I smiled a little and turned around.

He wasn't crying but he still had some tears running down his face so I whipped them away with my thumb. "Please, tell me what's wrong..." He looked up at me pitifully before looking down at his lap, "I can't say it..." I sighed and kissed his forehead, "it's fine, tell me when you're ready?" He nodded and I picked him up, taking him back into his room.

I laid him down on the bed then laid next to him running my hand through his hair, he played with my hoodie strings and pulled on them a little signaling that he wanted something.

"Hm?" I looked down at him, and I'd be lying if I said he wasn't adorable, then he pointed to my sweatshirt. "You want it..?" He nodded and gave me this puppy eye'd look, his eyes were a little puffy from crying earlier too. He was too cute to say no to, I smiled and took off the hoodie giving it to him.

He giggled a little and put it on, it was so big on him but he looked adorable. He blushed when I kissed his forehead, "will you tell me what's wrong now?" He nodded a little before looking down, fidgeting with his fingers.

"Please, don't get mad at me..."

"I wouldn't dream of it." he took a deep shuttered breath and started telling me everything.

He told me how much he loved me and how much he cared for me, how he got jealous when people flirted with me. How he gets butterflies in his stomach when I tease him, and how he's scared he's gonna get heartbroken by me.

When he was done talking I couldn't say anything back, I didn't know what to say. "...you probably think I'm weird now..." he sounded like he was about to cry but I pushed him away, catching him off guard.

"You're not weird, just disgusting." Was the last thing I said before walking out the room, leaving him there alone.

-Mikes pov-

Disgusting....

Disgusting...

Disgusting....

He's right, I am disgusting. Why would I ever try and love someone like him, knowing he'd never love me back. My heart hurt, it felt like I'd just been shot.

I felt like I couldn't breath, like my own emotions were suffocating me. I wanted the pain to stop, please make it stop.

It hurt...

That one word hurt more than a thousand bullets. Why...why...why did I have to tell him? Why couldn't I've just lied and said something else? Why'd my dad have to meet him mom, why'd I have to be the one to go through all this pain? Why does it hurt some fucking much.

My mind was going a million miles a second, I couldn't even focus on my breathing. I started seeing black and white dots appear in my room and I felt dizzy.

Until all I saw was black.