Events That Require Documentation

The Prison Called Thoughts

  As someone who over thinks... A LOT I get so deep into my thoughts, I analyze everything, every glance, every word. I did it so often I thought I could read people so well. But as it seems even in a talent I thought I perfected I can fail so dangerously. I didn't notice the flames of heartbreak licking at my chest until I could smell the sour smell of burning. I analyzed this too, questioned why I failed myself by this, why I couldn't see that he was already gone. That even when I poured the very essence of my soul to him and didn't get anything back I thought I was safe with him. I thought, even that things were better now. I was so brutally honest with how I felt and it ended with his heart being given to another girl with mine still clutched in his fist. I still have to remind myself to breathe, I have to remind myself that even though the heaviness I feel in my chest, like my heart was replaced with marble exists I still have the organ I feel his hands strangle in my thoughts; it still works for me. It still pumps my blood even when someone so close to us left my heart is still loyal to me. He might hold my heart right now, but even when it is with him it still works for me. And when I have the strength to unwrap his fingers from my heart it WILL still work for me. It will still work to prepare for someone who'll hold it in their hands as delicately as a I will hold his in mine. To those who experience something similar remind yourself that your heart is still loyal to you, even though it's being held hostage it still works for you, it still beats for you, even when you can't believe it beats for anyone except for him/her/them.