Soren POV
I walked into town and it was on fire and went into shop to find a gift for my boyfriend Ike. The shop was called Aimee Bitch and had a lot of things. They had food, clothes, healing staff, Sigurd, and more. Ike likes the spice fod so I checked to c if they had the spice fod. I asked the shop person behind countar and it was Aimee.
"Hullo Aimee"
"Shut the fuck up."
"Do you have the spice fod."
"Shut the fuck up."
"Ok."
I pushed past Aimee and decked her because she's a bitch and looked at their food supply. All they had was Mists Magical Meatloaf and decided to pass.
"Do you have thiing Ike like."
"Ike my sweet beloved honeypie dumpling Betty boo bear samich knife table ceiling boot jellybean Dora looking-"
"Ike my boufirend"
"Gay"
"Homophob!" I yelled and the townspeople who were on fire stopped being on fire and went inside to deck Aimee one by one until she was nothing more then a pile of Mists disgusting ass Meatloaf.
"If y'all weere on fyer and can staph being on fyer why weere you on fyer fur so long?"
"We like the feeling of fire on our salad fingers."
"What's a car"
"Shut the fuck up."
"Okay" I said as the townspeople reignited and proceeded to blow the popsicle stand.
"Why-" Sigurd started but I cut him off
"I'll take the guy though he's on clearance"
"You can't buy me-"
"Fine indentured servant get what you get and you don't get upset."
As me and Sogurd were about to depart from the flaming shop I saw sod radiating with a intense glow.
"Ike like sod."
"I believe that is the legendary master sword from a land far away named Hyrule-"
"Okay nerd" I said as I cut Soogird off.
I grabbed the sod and hopped the raidiation would mutate Ike to love me more then the spice fod.
