shifting to hogwarts, my shifting experience

the astronomy tower

it had been 4 weeks into my shift. draco never spoke one word to me again because he knew i would say something he didn't like.

it was the beginning of october, the leaves were falling off of the trees and the wind had a cold breeze.

as the sun set and the curfew passed, i decided to make my way up to the astronomy tower because i couldn't sleep. i walked through the corridors carefully as teachers were searching for students that are out after curfew. i finally reached the to the top of the spiralling stairs and see a boy with platinum blonde hair, wearing a suit. draco malfoy. he stands there, staring out into the night with the wind blowing against his face, deeply thinking.

"are you okay draco?" i ask.

he turned around and looked at me. his face flooded with tears. i only caught a quick glimpse of his face before turning back to face the landscape.

i walk to where he is standing. his hands gripping onto the cold metal railings as he stares up to the night sky.

after five minutes of a cold silence, draco rubs his eyes, turns to me and asks blankly "do you come up here often?"

"only when i can't sleep"

the silence continues for a while before i say
"you can talk to me draco. we may not get along great, but im a good listener."

he turns to me and stares into my soul, like he wants me to rescue him.

i pull him into a hug. at first he just stands there, but after a while he hugs me back. we stand there cuddling for what seems like an hour but was only five minutes.

i pull away as i ask him "why were you up here?"

"i like to think"

the time is about 1am now, i start to feel tired.

"i'm going to go back to my dorm now" i say.

"same time same place tomorrow?" draco asks.

i smile, nod and head back to my dorm quietly.

~

the astronomy tower became mine and draco's hang out spot. every night we would go up there to comfort each other whilst watching the stars and the moon move across the sky as the earth spins.

we talked about our lives, our problems, memories. we cried together, we laughed together and even became friends.

draco began to open up to me, he trusted me more than anyone else. i was his only true friend, i made him feel whole and he made me feel whole. it was like the missing peice of a puzzle was found.

~

it was the final week of october, almost 2 months into my shift. draco was unusually nervous.
"whats on your mind draco"
he didn't even hesitate. draco pulled me into him and kissed me.

i didn't know how to react. i didn't know how to express how excited and happy i was, i just wasn't expecting it. on the inside there was a whole party but on the outside my face was cold and calculating which made draco say,

"i should go".

as he turns to leave, i grab his hand and pull him into a kiss.

this time it felt like a million fireworks were exploding around us. like all the bad things in the world had simply just gone away. this is the draco i like, this is the real draco, not the draco that trips over first years in the corridors and disrespects anyone who is a half-blood or is friends with a half-blood.

he pulls away and i think to myself, i shifted realities and i just kissed draco malfoy. this cant be real.

"you are the only good thing in my life right now." he whispers in my ear "you make me feel wanted."

i hugged him so tight "i really like you" i say.

after a minute of silence he comes back with "i really like you too emily"

emily isn't my real name but im using the name emily as i don't want to share my real name:)

we kissed one last time that night before returning to our dorms.

~

the next night was one to remember.

once i make my way up to the astronomy tower.

and there i see him, draco malfoy.

like the first night, he was standing with his hands on the cold metal railings, staring out into the landscape.

i walk over to him as he immediately asks "what do you think about us".

i stare at him curiously "what do you mean?"

"us two. what label would you give us two?"

i smile at the fact he used the word 'us' and how i actually mean something to him.

"whatever you want us to be"

he smiles. he never smiles.

we stand there in silence for a few minutes watching the stars as we usually do, pointing out constellations. i knew draco had to get something off of his chest, so i waited for him to say whatever it was.

and then he says it.

"i want you to be mine...
i want you to be mine and no one else's.
i want to be able to call you mine, forever...
emily, you make me feel this way no one has ever made me feel.
you make me feel whole, complete and happy.
i enjoy seeing you every night, this is the time of day i look forward to the most.
because i don't just like you...
i love you."

i can't resist him. i love him too. i kiss him softly.

i whisper into his ears "i feel the same way draco. i love you too."

we both part ways as he heads off to his dormitory in slytherin and i head to my dormitory in gryffindor.

the words 'i love you' that came out of his mouth, replay through my mind constantly before i fall asleep.