i loved you first // l.s.

chapter six

october 1st, 2011. princess park.

it was cold and rainy that night. they had been recording all day without a break, the stormy weather messing up almost every take. simon still wouldn't let them stop, though. once they couldn't sing anymore they were finally allowed to go to bed.

louis was quiet on the ride home to their apartment. he barely said two words to harry, when usually he would be talking up a storm about how simon looked like a monkey in that stupid white v-neck, or how much he hated public walks with eleanor. he always said they had nothing to talk about.

"want to watch a movie?" harry offered when they were settled on the couch, his head in louis' lap. he had to remind himself that all they would ever be was just friends. but friends was so enough if he got to see those eyes every day.

"i don't know," louis looked deep in thought, staring off into space.

"what's wrong?" harry reached up to touch his jaw, trying to get his attention.

"i miss home."

louis got like that every once in a while. usually he just called them and went to bed, and it would be forgotten the next morning. but he had been in a funk for a few days now.

"not just my family," louis ran his hands through harry's hair, still looking at the wall. "i miss the smell of home, you know? it smells different here. not bad, just different." his pretty blue eyes started to look watery, and harry sat up to put an arm around him.

"forget it. i'm sorry," louis shook his head at himself, but didn't wipe his eyes.

"no, lou, i get it," with his heart racing, harry pressed a kiss to louis' perfect temple. he didn't seem fazed, though. it almost felt natural. "i miss the way my mom used to come home. no matter what i was doing she would always give me a hug," harry smiled fondly, wondering what she was doing now. they hadn't talked all week. "it used to be annoying, but now... i just really miss it."

"i miss my mom. it sounds stupid, but i just miss hearing her laugh. i would say something stupid just to hear it, and i loved it even if it was just because i sounded dumb." louis' eyes squeezed tightly shut, his coal-black lashes brushing his cheeks like tiny little paint brushes. louis truly was the perfect canvas. harry thought so, at least.

they sat in silence for a while, harry's arms around him until louis fell asleep. he picked him up carefully, trying not to make a sound as he tip-toed to louis' bedroom. he seemed frailer than normal, the bones in his spine jutting out a bit more. maybe that was just because harry was carrying him.

he pulled the blankets back and laid the boy down on the bed, smiling at the blue patterned blanket folded neatly by the pillow. louis stirred a bit in his sleep, but kept his eyes closed. the window in the corner let in a little moonlight and harry couldn't help but stand back and admire him for a second.

he shook his head and placed a little kiss on louis' forehead, trying to stay silent when he started to creep out of the room.

"haz?" louis' sunshine voice croaked, grabbing hold of his best friend's t-shirt so he couldn't leave. harry cursed himself for waking him up. louis needed sleep, especially now.

"yeah?"

"can you stay? please?" harry's eyes widened at the words. sleep next to louis?

"it's raining and i really don't like thunder, alright? make fun of me if you want to, just please don't tell the boys," louis begged, looking so angelic in the moonlight. his eyes were bluer than ever, and heavy in sleep.

"of course, sunshine. don't worry about it," harry slipped into bed beside him, keeping a respectful distance. he gripped onto the pillow for dear life, trying to breathe normally when he thought about who was beside him. it didn't matter how hard he tried though, his breathing came out in little erratic huffs against his hands, which were clamped over his mouth in an effort to at least quiet it down.