Money Over Everything

Chapter 25

"Fuck!" I yell out in frustration.

I don't know how the hell I was able to hold myself together for so long, but now that I'm alone I can feel it all coming out. I take a long drink from the bottle of scotch on my bedside and then throw it at all the wall, it smashes loudly and the liquid sprays everywhere.

I let out another cry of frustration as I grab my dresser and yank it from the wall, it hits the ground and cracks down the middle. I turn around seething with anger and grab my lamp and throw it against the other wall. Still possessed with rage I walk over to the mirror on the wall. I catch a quick glance of myself before I pick it up off its hooks and throw it to the ground, completely shattering it.

"J! What the hell are you doing!" Damien shouts, pounding on the door.

I can't even bring myself to tell him to fuck off, that's how much anger I feel right now. I walk over to the wall and punch a hole through the drywall, as I take a step back to punch it again, I feel glass break beneath my foot. I glance down and it's a picture frame.

I only have one picture in my room. I drop to the ground shaking to pick it up. It's a picture of Jordan and me. It's the only thing I brought with me when we came to the city. I made Jordan stop at Dad's place so I could sneak in through my window and grab it.

I pull it out of its broken frame and hold it in my hands. Leaning my back against the wall I sit there and cry. I cry because I almost shot a child, I cry because I made Ali point a gun to that kids' head, I cry because I scared the hell out of a dozen children and their mothers, I cry because Tyler got shot, and mostly I cry because I don't know how much longer I can do this.

With every job from that stupid book things just keep getting worse. I wish I never found it. I wish I never started this. I wish I threw it in the garbage after Jordan died.

"If you could see me now Jordy, you wouldn't recognize me. I don't recognize me. If it wasn't for some lucky coincidence, I would have shot a kid today." I whisper to myself.

"J open up!" Damien yells again.

"Everything has gone to shit since you left. Tyler could have easily been killed. Ali's been so depressed that she's leaving the team. The book is almost done and the jobs have gotten so risky I don't even know if we should continue. I constantly push Damien away even though he's the one person in the world who probably cares about me as much as you did. I just... I wish you were here... I-I can't do this without you anymore."

Tears stream down my face and I don't bother to wipe them away.

DAMIEN POV

While she was in the room with Kyler and Tyler I talked with the team, they didn't blame her for anything. They were amazed at how quickly she came up with a plan to get us out of there. Not only got us out of there, but she got us out with the money and without any more serious injuries.

When she came out of the room, I could see it in her eyes, she was ready to snap. And from the sounds of it that's exactly what she did. I don't blame her; these jobs have been getting outrageous. They were always dangerous, but now it's only a matter of time before we lose someone again.

Standing on the other side of the door, I just imagine what is happening in there. I can hear things smashing and breaking. She cares so much about the team that when she feels she's let them down she takes it really hard. They're like family to her. They're the family that she created when she didn't have a real one.

Maybe this us what will finally push her to give these jobs up.

I pound on the door and try to open it but of course she locked it. I look back at the team who stares back at me in equal disbelief. It's been a long time since she's lost it like this.

"Someone pass me a pin." I sigh, exhausted.

Chance rummages through the drawers in the kitchen, he finds one and then tosses it to me. I run back to her door fiddle with it in the lock until I hear it click.

JADA POV

I hear the door click and it opens. Should have figured the guy who can crack safes can also pick a lock. I don't have the strength to argue with him, so I just look away, grasping my picture tightly in my hands.

Damien looks around the room, I can tell he wants to yell at me. Tell me what an idiot I am for destroying my own shit. That I'm acting crazy. That today wasn't my fault or that it couldn't have been prevented. But instead of lecturing me, or yelling at me, he just sits down beside me and puts his arm around me. He pulls me towards him, I turn and hold him and continue to cry.

"If you want to stop, we can stop. Just say the word." He says softly.

I don't say anything, I just continue to cry. I don't know what I want anymore. I've never felt so helpless. I'm losing control of this. I'm losing control of myself.

Damien strokes my hair as I continue crying.

"The only thing that matters right now is that everyone is okay, and they are okay J. Things could have been a lot worse, but because of you, we all got out okay." He reassures.

"Yeah except Tyler."

"Eh, he'll be fine. He's always wanted a cool scar."

I can't help but let out a little laugh.

We sit here for a few more minutes. Damien strokes my hair, just holding me silently.

Suddenly I think about Tyler again, "I need you to do me a favour without asking any questions."

"I hope you're not going to ask me to kill someone."

"I need you to tell Kyler not to give Tyler anything other than over the counter painkillers."

Tyler confided in me that along with heroine he's also abused opiates. I can't let this be the start of another relapse.

"What? Why?" He puzzles.

"I said no questions. If Kyler has a problem with it, she can come to me, but just tell her I have my reasons."

"Alright."

He kisses my forehead, and then stands up and walks out of my room. I sit there for a few more seconds but eventually I get up and take a long shower. I cut my knuckles up punching the wall, so it stings a little, but I try to focus on washing this day off me.

I get out and throw on some sweats and a t-shirt, Damien cleaned up my room a bit while I was in the shower so I can walk without stepping on glass.

I take a deep breath. I can't avoid talking to the rest of the team forever. I walk out to the kitchen and see everyone sitting around in the kitchen. They obviously all heard my little outburst from the way they're looking at me.

I walk to the cupboard and grab some short glasses and start passing them around. No one says anything they just take the glass and wait. I walk to the liquor cabinet and grab a few bottles and put them on the table, I pour

some scotch in mine and after eyeing up the rest of them they begin to fill their glasses and take a seat around the table.

"We need to talk."