Lucidity

Twenty-Six: Tales I

The sunlight started to creep into Anwyn's room, but she didn't wake. She'd never slept in the first place. Her mind was a chest of thoughts she wished she'd spoken. Good luck. I'll miss you. Don't get hurt. I'm sorry.

Because she was. She really was. Because now, with everyone gone, she didn't miss her boyfriend. Sure, her thoughts drifted to him from time to time, but her body didn't ache like it did when she thought of Kosa. She'd been so stupid, neglecting such a great friend for a romance she was more in love with than her actual partner.

At her side, Nokia whimpered, catching onto Anwyn's sadness. Normally they'd cuddle, but right now Nokia's internal organs and tissues were starting to grow back and, as much as Anwyn loved him, she couldn't quite bring herself to do so.

"Sorry, buddy," she mumbled, giving him a head pat.

Returning home had been hard. She couldn't tell them she'd saved the world or anything because she hadn't. The others could say that they hadn't yet, but even though she was going to be responsible for destroying the weapon, she didn't feel like it would be her saving Lypera. It was more Caitlyn and Kosa. She just hoped Kosa was okay.

The worst part was she wasn't happy at home anymore. It was true, she'd always dreamt of leaving to go on an epic quest, but she'd still been happy there. But now she felt lonely and unhappy.

"Anwyn?"

Somehow Olivia had known she was awake. Olivia really did seem to have that maternal instinct. She even tended to know exactly what to say to make Anwyn feel better. So, when she sat on the edge of Anwyn's bed, it gave her some comfort.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Mhm", Anwyn lied.

"You're a terrible liar, An," Olivia said, "I know you're not okay."

"I'm fine. I'm a chosen one. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because sometimes what we want isn't what we need. Sometimes things just pile on top of each other until they tumble in a big mighty crash. Sometimes people keep things secret because they hurt too much," responded Olivia. With a note of desperation, she asked, "What happened?"

"Everything was fine. Everything was great! I had someone who believed in me, people who believed I was the sole chosen one. That I had the potential to save all of Lypera. But then... I killed him, Nom. I killed him." A lump formed in Anwyn's throat, making it harder to continue. "They stabbed me but he'd-"

"Honey, you don't have to talk about that part if you don't want to. I'm just sure that you didn't intentionally hurt anyone because you're my Anwyn," said Olivia, running a hand through her daughter's tangled pink hair. The roots had gone rather blonde again.

"I don't get it. I got everything I ever wanted. The perfect boy, friends that believed in me, a magical dog... But I stopped being happy. It wasn't magical anymore. It felt wrong."

Olivia nodded tiredly. "You know why books exist? Because people love magic and adventure."

"I know. I love books," said Anwyn. She couldn't quite figure out where Olivia was going.

"Well, here in Lypera, it's easy enough to find your own adventure. But it's not right for everyone. It's not that they're not cut out for it, rather that... When you dream, there are no limits aside from your own creativity. You're in control and you can stay cosy at home. It's the superior form of travel for the imaginative. But when you journey in the real world, the price can be great. So great, that you might as well have just dreamt from the comfort of your own home."

Anwyn frowned, caressing the duvet for comfort. She was in a bad place right now, but Olivia was helping.

"You know I have to go again. To finish what I started."