I Live to the End

5

"You're on your own, kid," my dad yelled.

Mia, Duncan, and I had all been sitting in my living room, a room I had barely gone into in the last two weeks, and doing our homework. Will hadn't liked it but he understood that he couldn't come over to work on the project. Instead, he was texting Mia while they worked on some of the questions. He was also asking Mia about me and Duncan which was frustrating her to no end. Duncan and I were both busy doing our own work, but I honestly don't know what I was thinking about. Was I even thinking? Were any thoughts actually going through my brain? Great, now I was trying to think about thinking without thinking about making myself think. That's fun.

"Lizzie, did you hear your dad?" Duncan asked while I was having a crisis about thinking.

"What? No, what'd he say?"

"He's leaving."

"Where?"

"I don't know, is he working today?"

"I don't think he works until later unless he's taking a double shift."

My dad's a nurse at a nearby hospital. He didn't take double shifts very often, but he had been covering for his coworkers more and more lately leaving me by myself. A few of his coworkers that usually worked the night shift with him had kids so it was possible they really had asked him to cover a shift for him, or my dad was doing something else with his time. I didn't want to think about the possibilities.

"So should we order a pizza for dinner then?" Mia asked.

"Sure."

They both knew my house didn't have much food in it, and definitely not anything for a suitable dinner. As soon as we had gotten to my house Duncan went straight to the fridge to try to steal some of our food and was very upset when he discovered there was none to steal. He then started questioning what I had been eating for dinner and breakfast and lunch on weekends. He knew I never ate breakfast so it was pointless to ask, but he had a good reason to ask about dinner. I couldn't tell him I hadn't been eating dinner or he would get worried about me. Instead, I told him I usually made something frozen, which is when he discovered that although my freezer was more empty than normal, there was definitely food in it.

"I'm taking you grocery shopping tomorrow," he had told me. I wasn't looking forward to it.

The three of us worked for another almost half hour before Duncan and Mia decided they were hungry enough for a pizza. Honestly, I hadn't noticed it was almost 6 pm, but it seemed like a good time for pizza.

It was almost 10 pm and I was a lot more tired than I usually was at 10 pm. I decided to take advantage of it. I changed into my pajamas, a pair of old shorts, and a sweatshirt, and climbed into bed. I had been thinking about my day when my phone started ringing from the other side of the room. I knew it was about to stop when by the time I got to it so I answered without looking at who it was.

"Hello, is this Elizabeth Torrence?" a sweet voice asked me.

"Yes, who is this?"

"I'm Gracie, a nurse at Viewpoint Hospital. Your father was in an accident, do you have any way to get here?" she asked.

At least I knew that since the hospital was calling he was alive right now. He's alive, not dead in his car against a tree. He's okay.

"Miss Torrence? Are you still there?" the nurse asked.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm still here."

"Do you have a way to get to the hospital? The doctors would like to speak with you."

"Yes, I'll figure something out. I'll be there soon," I told her before I hung up.

I called Duncan and put it on speaker right away as I started getting dressed. I had changed into my pajamas after eating dinner with Duncan and Mia.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked when he picked up.

"Can you drive me to the hospital?"

"Are you okay? What happened? Why do you need to be taken to the hospital? Why aren't you calling for an ambulance?" Duncan asked in a panic.

"Relax, my dad was in an accident. A nurse just called and said the doctors want to talk to me. Can you take me or not?" I asked again.

"Of course, I'll be at your house in fifteen minutes."

It only took Duncan 13 minutes to pull up to the curb outside my house. He tried talking to me on the way there. He asked how I was handling it if I knew how he was if I knew anything at all. I wasn't paying attention to him. My brain went straight to the worst-case scenario. I guess i was learning my lesson, I had been hopeful that Noah would be fine and we know how that turned out.

Viewpoint hospital wasn't the hospital my dad worked at, it was actually in the opposite direction of where he worked. I couldn't figure out why he would have been brought there if he was closer to his hospital, but maybe since it was bigger it was the better choice. It was about half an hour from my house and busier than I expected at almost 11 pm. As it turns out, the time of day doesn't matter to Death. He works constantly, taking whatever soul is up. Who knew that two of my family members' time would be up within a month of each other.

Maybe their own choices had led to it. If they had done choice A instead of B or found the alternative choice C. Maybe that would have changed things, maybe choices don't matter when Death knows when to take you.

When Duncan and I arrived at the hospital, I immediately went to the ER entrance and talked to a nurse to try to find out where my dad was. The nurses had been waiting for me and told me he needed surgery, that the doctors would tell me more later, and that I could wait in the room he would be taken to after or wait in the waiting area on that floor with my friend (I was grateful she hadn't said boyfriend since that would be awkward for both of us.)

In the waiting room, Duncan tried to talk to me and calm me down but I wouldn't stop pacing. At some point, I had started to get tired while waiting and went off to find a coffee machine or vending machine. I ended up at a vending machine on the other end of the floor. The doctor was waiting for me when I got back.

I don't remember the entire conversation, I mainly remember his somber expression and his well-rehearsed "I'm so sorry, but he didn't make it." He went on to explain about all the internal damage he'd gotten when his car rolled into a ditch and he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

"He was lucky he didn't die before he arrived at the hospital. There's only so much us doctors can do, everything else is out of our control. If you'd like, we have grief counselors always available," he told me.

"No, it's fine.. I'll be fine."

"Do you have any family you can stay with for a while? Any aunts or uncles or cousins?"

"Not around here, but I'll be fine on my own. I'm 18, it's fine."

"She can stay with me if she needs to. Thank you, doctor," Duncan said.

"I'll give you the card for one of those counselors in case you decide to call," the doctor said before he left.

A nurse came back and handed me the card. She told me I would need to contact someone to set up the funeral, but she could give me numbers to some funeral homes or cremation services if I needed help. I told her I would be fine, thank you, but Duncan took the numbers as we left.

He didn't let me sleep at my house that night. He also didn't let me go to school the next day. Mia skipped with us. It's a shame I don't remember any of it, it could have been a fun time. Maybe not, it's like I hadn't even been there.