Once upon a time, a remarkably clumsy woman was hurrying along the subway in quite an unsafe proximity to the-thud! Somebody had ignored the narrator's warning tone and stumbled right into the railtracks where she found herself facing imminent death in the form of a speeding train hurtling towards her.
"Mama's always going on about what a clutz I am," she thought to herself, "She will have my head if she hears of this."
Fortunately for the young woman, that was soon the least of her worries as she found her body sliced in two clean halves by the afore-mentioned train.
"Well that's not nice!" she cried out in dismay, "That makes me feel like I'm not important to you; like you don't give a hoot."
The train had the decency to hasten in shame and guiltily shriek out two respectful hoots before disappearing into the horizon.
The spirit of the woman nodded in approval at the receding locomotive before turning towards the blinding beam of light shining on her in an expectant manner. Probably to lead her some place. Where, she could not tell.
"This is not helping my migraine," she gritted through her ghostly teeth, "I suppose I'm expected to follow it." She sighed.
Shielding her eyes with her arms spread over her head, (which did nothing whatsoever to help since the light cut through her illusory soul like a hot knife through butter,) she glided reluctantly towards the illuminated beacon.
Turning back for one last nostalgic glimpse of the shell she had inhabited moments ago, she turned back in slow motion with hair blowing all over her face like all her favourite unrealistic movies had taught her to...
And gasped.
YOU ARE READING
Fumbling for Feet
HumorLoosely based on the Japanese urban legend of a woman who just can't find her legs. Proceed with caution, I did ~not~ take this seriously.
