Fumbling for Feet

Chapter Three

For some bizarre reason incomprehensible to a sane well-functioning mortal, she decided her lower half must have walked off to do its business one last time for old time's sake and set upon looking for it in bathrooms.

In the first bathroom that she waited, it was in disappointment that she encountered a pair of legs that was already topped off with an upper body.

"Hey, you" she addressed the poor startled guy. "Have you seen my legs?"

"N-no ma'am," he stuttered in shock, "I h-have not."

"Oh," she looked disappointed. "This isn't fair."

"W-what isn't fair madam?"

"If I can't have legs then why should you?"

"M-ma'am?" the man had quite recovered from the unexpected surprise at this point, the stutter was from holding in his business which the crazed half lady in front of him was preventing him from relieving.

"You can't have legs anymore Joe," she told him simply, "they don't even suit you"

"My name is Edw–"

"I don't care Joe."

"I see ma'am."

"How would you like to be the famed Legless Joe of the block huh?"

Our Edw-? pondered over this question quite seriously, for William had been a pain in the neck lately, bragging about his invitation to the respected Count's exclusive gathering. Slighted and feeling unusually rebellious, Joe had slipped into the party unnoticed. And by unnoticed, we mean unnoticed. Nobody had payed much heed to his presence, not even an obligatory "intruder!" followed by respectfully being kicked out of the party for all the society to mock and shame. Was public humiliation too much to ask for?

Tempted, but still reluctant, he protested, "But I'm quite fond of my legs ma'a-"

SCREEAAACKKK

"Well then!" Joe stared at his detached legs in resigned horror.

"No more bathroom emergencies" she chirped cheerfully.

"Fair enough." sighed the man, appalled, but in loss of argument.

On this cheerful note, off our eccentric protagonist teke-teked in search of another bathroom her legs might have wandered into.