Stronger, With Or Without You

39~ nuts and gossip

Chapter 39~ nuts and gossip

"We're here" Hunter said quietly as he got down from the motorcycle and offered me a hand.

I took it and glanced around, it was a small, beautiful, two story house, with what I could detect as a garden at the back and several growing varieties of flowers in front of the house.

Shifting nervously, I glanced at Hunter who seemed to be as relaxed as ever, a small smile on his beautiful face and his steps graceful and quiet as he walked up the small steps to the door and opened it.

"Aren't you going to knock?" I asked with wide eyes and slowly trailed after him.

"She doesn't know we're coming, so she's probably having her nap now" he replied, walking into the living room and plopping himself on the mint green couch.

I rolled my eyes at him and sat down beside him with a sigh, "so...happy birthday?" I said awkwardly while Hunter stared at me.

I shrugged and he sighed, resting his head on my lap. "No talking about my birthday please" he muttered in a strained voice.

Great going Steph, he doesn't like his birthday, remember? Stupid. Stupid.

"Okay, no talking" I said quietly and ran my fingers through his soft hair.

"You never told me why you do this to your hair" I twirled a blonde strand and he closed his eyes and made a sound in his throat in annoyance.

"I thought you liked blondes?" He smiled slightly and I chuckled.

"So you dye your hair cause I admire the blonde hair of a fictional character?" I ask incrediously.

"My hair's been blonde long before I met you Princess" he replied, his eyes still closed.

"That's not true...it was the color of midnight at that ball two years ago, it was very beautiful" I reminded him and he grew quiet.

Shit. Just had to mention 2 years ago...

"I add more blonde dye to my hair, everytime I stop feeling guilty about my mother's death" he tensed and my hand froze middtroke in his hair.

"Why?"

"Because I should feel guilty, it was my fault. And every time I don't, I dye my hair blonde to remind myself that I have the death of two people on my head" he clenched his fist.

I glanced at his fully blonde hair, "so, you've been feeling less and less guilty lately?" I asked hesitantly and he tugged at his hair in frustration.

"Yes. Fuck yes. Do you think I like this godforsaken color on me, I don't understand why I keep forgetting that I'm the cause of their death. It's so wrong. For me to have the audacity to be happy when I took the life of the the 2 most happiest people I've ever met"

I sighed. "But it's not your fault..."

He didn't bother to reply.

"You weren't driving that car Hunter, you didn't-"

"I was in the backseat while my mother and my girlfriend were in the front, I was the one who got drunk off my rockers and didn't have a way to get home, If I had just stayed and enjoyed the beautiful birthday party that was planned for me- If I hadn't been so upset about my dad and just stayed home. They wouldn't have worried about me and come looking for me. They wouldn't have died!" His voice shook and he stood up.

"I was feeling so guilty for so long, only once or twice did that guilt go away and that fucking dye enter my hair. But then some beautiful, moronic girl just had to come crashing in and making me feel like I don't deserve hell for all that I've done, like I deserve even the slightest bit of happiness..." He shook his head and glanced around frantically, his hand in his hair.