'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!'
Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck.
Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get r...
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October 1975
"I swear to Merlin, if I find you in here once more this semester-" Kelsey was extremely frustrated. She frowned at the two students who had been attached as if glued together by the face until a few moments ago.
"Kelps. My dear Kelpie," Sirius Black exited the closet, buttoning up the one button that had been undone.
Don't look. Don't you dare Kelsey Jones!
For the love of Helga! She was a Prefect. No matter how well-built his Quidditch trained body might be. And she bet it was, based on the noises that had been coming out of the closet.
"This is a poor way to get back Gryffindor for beating Hufflepuff in the house cup last year," he tsked her, straightening up. Shocked, she kept her eyes straight up. A mistake since staring into his mesmerising grey eyes only seemed to distract her further.
Snap out of it! His eyes are not mesmerising, she scolded herself.
Almost six feet now, Sirius Black had certainly grown the summer between their fourth and fifth year. A fact that every girl fourth-year and up had noticed. His jaw was more prominent, his curls darker somehow, and now if he looked at you, you could be sure to get lost in the icy grey depths of them. Playing Beater did wonders to his physique as well, Kelsey realised as she sneaked a peek on the top of his chest right before that button had closed up.
Meanwhile, Kelsey with her dark brown hair, and blue eyes, had barely filled into the bras her mother had excitedly purchased the moment she found out that her daughter had matured more in the department too. She was still a full head shorter than Sirius too. It gave him an unfair advantage in sizing her up with those piercing orbs.
Oh for the love of Pete! Piercing? Really? She barely managed to keep her internal monologue in check.
"Gryffindor came in third! It's not something to boast about," she rolled her eyes.
"Excuse me," a soft voice came from behind Sirius and a raven-haired Hufflepuff Kelsey recognised as a sixth-year, emerged dishevelled.
"Five points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff," Kelsey shouted at the girl as she disappeared down the hallway. "Really Annabelle? Consorting with the enemy? Shame on you!"
"Taking points from your own house. That's cold," Sirius muttered.
"And you!" she turned back pointing at him. "If I catch you in here once more this term.." her empty threat hung in the air.
"Why so serious Jones?" he snickered at his own joke before continuing. "I could ease that stress of yours. I know it's OWLs this year. Perhaps a quick snog in the cupboard would do you wonders," he said and stepped aside as if to invite her in.
"I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a fork," she refuted and turned away to continue her nightly prefect patrols. Of all the days for her Prefect patrol partner to fall sick.
She heard a chuckle behind her.
"If you're going to throw insults at me, at least be original, and don't repeat the stuff Evans yells at James!"
ϟ
Early December 1975
"How was it? Spill!"
Marlene, Lily, Astrid and Kelsey had cornered Mary after her Hogsmeade date with a sixth-year, Ravenclaw.
In their group of five, Mary was the voice of reason, Marlene was the boy-obsessed badass (both traits were mutually exclusive), Astrid was the goody-two-shoes, Lily was the responsible one with a streak of fiery flare, and Kelsey was the spitfire who didn't hold back from messing with those who wronged her or her friends. Unfortunately, Kelsey was very Slytherin about her Hufflepuff-ness as Astrid kindly put it. How she was made Prefect was still a mystery.
"It was good," Mary turned red, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. "We kissed," she added a few moments later prompting squeals from the girls.
"I can't believe it! That means all of us except Kelsey have snogged a boy. Even sweet innocent Astrid was able to get a snog out of that awful date she went on last year," Marlene said.
"What?! Lily you traitor! You were supposed to be in this with me. Hoes before bros! Who was it?!" Kelsey demanded, holding Lily by the shoulders and shaking her. Her friend mumbled something, a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"Chicks before di-"
In the distance, a dull thud could be heard. The girls paused and looked around but didn't see anything. Kelsey thought she saw something shimmer but ignored it because there was no way she could have seen several pairs of feet on the ground without a body attached to them.
"This! This is why no boy will kiss you Kels," Marlene fake sobbed. Kelsey gave her the finger.
"Charming," Lily muttered sarcastically.
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A/N: A little short, but they only get longer from here on! Hope you liked it! Votes and Reviews appreciated. Next chapter up tomorrow.
Image source: mythopoesia on Tumblr (WB prolly owns the original?)
