Unsure Love.

These Magic Moments.

I'm not gonna lie, Gwen's moms food tasted like shit. This is why I make up excuses so I don't have to eat dinner at her house. That's also why she kept saying it's okay if I didn't want to go at lunch today. Last time I ate her moms food, I got a stomach bug and spent 2 days straight blowing chunks out of my mouth. Derek was there to take care of me because at the time Gwen had to stay after school later than usual because she was failing in 3 of her classes. So Derek was the one who came over and took care of me. My parents are never home anyways and I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't know the difference between medicine and poison. The whole time Derek took care of me, he put on all of my favorite movies. Like St. Elmo's Fire, The Breakfast Club, Stand By Me, and as much as I'm embarrassed to admit it, he even put on The Notebook. I only watch that movie with him. Because he's the only one who knows I enjoy chick flicks. That was the time I think I knew I was in love with him. I hid the feelings for the longest time but then one day, that special damn day, I told him how I felt. I told him how shitty I felt about loving him and loving Gwen. After I told him, he kissed me. A long, hard, passionate kiss. I was in shock of how good of a kisser he was. I had to break the kiss so I could breathe. That moment was so...magical and romantic at the same time. I started lying to Gwen and my parents just so I could spend more time with him. I would normally say, "I'm gonna hang out at Duncan's see ya later." Or, "I'm going to look for new sheet music." Duncan's parents were never home. They were to busy arresting people to give a shit about what or who their kids were doing. Derek has 3 bothers and 1 sister. Donnie, Darren, Demi, Derek, and Duncan. Donnie, Darren, and Demi are triplets, the only kids in the family who were planned according to Derek. Donnie was to busy selling drugs on the street so he was never home. Darren was to busy keeping up with all of his girl friends. Demi, well, she just locked her self up in her room and only went out when she had to eat or use the bathroom. Then there was Duncan who always had Chelsea over. So it was hard to have alone time with Derek. Once, I remember me and Derek were making out and then I could Chelsea screaming. Duncan's wall was pressed right up against Derek's so I could everything. I pretended that I didn't hear because Derek didn't say anything or do anything but suck my face. So I just closed my eyes and listened. I popped my eyes wide open when I could hear, "OH JESUS I LOVE YOU HARDER, FASTER. OH MY GOD." I pushed Derek off of me and started nagging. "Why can't we do what they're doing?" "I didn't think you wanted to... Your only 17. Don't you wanna save yourself?" That's when I questioned if he was a virgin. "Derek, are you a virgin?..." "Unlike you, I'm saving myself for marriage." He said it in a bitchy tone. "Hey just because my hormones are constantly telling me to rip off your clothes and ravage you, I won't. To be honest I'm utterly terrified of losing my virginity. And if you are to, I'm fine with waiting." I said that before I had sex with Gwen. Derek still thinks I'm a virgin. Which I technically am to him. I'm still a anal virgin. Gwen thought that me sticking my penis in one hole was enough. Which it was. It didn't take long for me to explode. Gwen on the other hand, kept saying, "OW." The whole time so I had to go slow. Afterwards we talked for 3 hours. I'm not even sure about what. But I knew I loved her. I wasn't even thinking about Derek when it happened. Which made me worried. But then when I saw him in the hallway, I remembered the feelings I had for him. And the feelings I had for her. Which is about where I'm at now. Right now, I'm starring in her bathroom mirror, trying to figure out if the tux I wore was to much. Nah. I walk out and sit down next to Gwen. "So Trent, Gwen tells me that you've been spending more on your guitar skills." "Yes ma'm I have. I've been practicing Phil Collins songs now." I smiled at Gwen. Her favorite song is by Phil Collins. "Against All Odds." That song always makes her cry. The smile got wiped away from my face when Gwen's mom handed me the plate of food. It looked better then last time. It was much better than last time. But it tasted like a microwave dinner. After dinner was over I walked outside with Gwen. "So how did you like the microwave mash potatoes?" She grinned at me. "I just hope they don't give me the runs like last time." We both started laughing. "Trent, we've been dating for a while now and I just wanna make sure that you know I would never, ever, cheat on you or hurt you, in anyway." She took my hand and squeezed it. "I feel the same way babe." Hand holding turned to kissing, kissing turned to making out, and making out turned to, well, making love. Everyone else was sleeping so we had to be quiet. It only took about 4 minutes to make her turn into a human water fountain. While she was laid up against my chest I just kept regretting saying what I said to Gwen. "I feel the same way babe." LIES. ALL FUCKING LIES. How am I supposed to explain all of this to Derek? Or even more important, GWEN.