Unsure Love.

Anderson And The Black Roses.

This was my chance. To finally discover who he's been talking to. Who he replaced me with. "Hey Derek." "Oh hey." I saw him put his phone in his hoodie pocket. I "accidentally" trip into him. "Dude what the hell?!" "Sorry I must've tripped, see you later." He walks into the 12th grade hallway without knowing I just "accidentally" took his phone from him. I walked back to 5th period and sat down next to Duncan. He looked at me like someone in my family had just died and he was trying to give me sympathy. "What?" "You don't even know. Do you?" "Know what?" The hell was this kid talking about? "About Anderson." "The hell is Anderson?!" "MR LANGDON AND MR WALKER SILENCE." I hated this class so fucking much. When mrs. Phipps turned back to the board and I looked at Duncan. "Duncan who is Anderson?" He sighed. "Derek has been talking to this guy named Anderson. That's who he's taking to the concert. He's been talking to him for a while now. Ever since you and Gwen had sex." WAIT WHAT?! HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW? "What do you mean?..." "Don't play stupid Trent. Gwen told Chelsea that you and her had sex and Chelsea told me and without knowing I told Derek because I thought you tell him but I was wrong." "When did he find out?" "Like, 4 days ago I think." It's been 4 days since that day in the orchestra room. "You told him this Monday didn't you." "How the hell was I supposed to know?!" "What did he do?" "Well..."

4 DAYS AGO.

Derek was driving Duncan home in awkward silence.
"So..."
Duncan turned away from him and looked out the window.
"I can't believe you."
Derek finally took his eyes off of the road to look at Duncan.
"It's not my fault. I didn't mean to fall in love with him."
"How long has this been going on for?"
Duncan finally looked back at Derek.
"A while...About 6 months now."
Duncan shook his head.
"He's in love with Gwen. He's just saying he loves you to because likes having sexual control over two people."
"Sexual control?"
"Yeah. He can have you sucking his dick any time he wants. And he can have Gwen's pussy anytime he wants."
Derek lowered his eyebrows.
"What? You didn't know they were having sex?"
Duncan laughed.
Derek could feel his heart shatter.
"He lied to me..."
Derek whispered.
"Look Derek, you know I love you, but Gwen is one of my closest friends. Just please stop this Before it gets out of hand. Please?"
Derek started forming tears.
"I can't believe him. He's a lying buttface who can play the guitar."
Duncan patted Derek on the back.
"I know man. Bitches. Can't live with or without them."

NOW.
"You little dick!" "MR LANGDON SIT DOWN AND WATCH YOUR MOUTH" I pushed him out of his seat and tackled him. "I HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" I began punching him repeatedly in the face. Of course until he rolled me over and began ruining my face. My pink chapped lip was now dripping with blood. I probably would've passed out until mrs. Phipps pulled him off of me. "OFFICE. NOW." She pulled me up and had a kid take me to the nurse. I hated myself. For almost everything now. I was a horrible person. I didn't deserve anyone or anything. This was a new low for me. A new stage of hating myself. A new stage of depression.

FRIDAY.

Yesterday I was to busy healing my face to look at the texts between Derek and this Anderson guy. Today I got to stay home but then at 7:00pm I had to drive to Gwen's violin recital. I bought her red roses but I sprayed painted some of them black and white because red, black, and white are all of her favorite colors. I got the idea from a episode of American Horror Story. While she was backstage getting ready I was in the front row reading the texts between Derek and Anderson. Derek told Anderson about me lying to him. I felt so horrible. But most of that pain washed away when I saw Gwen get on stage and play her violin. Not one time did she mess up. She saw me and smiled. I was in love with her. I truly was. I felt like I owed it to her to tell her the truth about Derek. But I couldn't tell her just yet. Not until me and Derek were over. But i wasn't sure I wanted to end things with him just yet. I love him. I really do. But I keep hurting him and I hate myself for it. After the recital was over I took her home. "You were fantastic out there." "Thanks. I didn't think you were paying attention because you kept looking at your phone the whole time." "Gwen I'm sorry it's just..." "Just what?" "It's just that..." I had to think of an excuse. "It's just that I kept looking at rings for your birthday this month. I'm sorry babe." I now had only one hand on the starring wheel because I let my right hand take her hand. "I love you so much Gwen." "I love you to baby." I pulled into her drive way and stopped the car. "You wanna come in? My mom isn't gonna be home for a while." She winked and smiled. "I would love to babe, but I can't. My parents want me to be home early tonight. Next time though." She put her hand on my thigh and squeezed it. "Okay. I love you." "I love you to." Before I knew it, we were sucking faces. That was until I heard her mom pull right up next to us. Thank god I hadn't agreed to come in with her. "Well I gotta go. Bye." She rushed out of the car and grabbed the roses I gave her. I pulled out and decided to stop by the nearest gas station for a surprise. I just got some yellow flowers which I'm not sure what kind they were but they smelled nice. I pulled in the back of Derek's house and walked to the front door. Derek decided to take his dad's car to the concert. It was dark so I could barely see anything. But I knew it was Derek when I saw his dad's car pull up. I waited for him to get out but he never did. I decided to sneak a little closer. That's when I saw it. Derek and Anderson. I knew it was Anderson because on Derek's contacts for Anderson's number it showed a picture of him. Derek was making out with Anderson. I dropped the flowers and ran back to my car. I didn't care if they saw me. I didn't care at all. Derek didn't need me anymore. It was over. Completely over.