Jewel's Talk & Stuff!

My Now Toxic Friend...

|| Trigger Warning! You have been warned! ||

(Don't mind the Yandere picture above :3)

Hello! It's me! I'm back with a new topic to discuss ^-^ I know I said I wouldn't bring any dark and deep topic. But in this case, I just wanted to let you know that there are type of friends which can be very destructive.

If you're new here, Hi! I'm Jewel. This is what I like to call "Talk & Stuff" where I discuss things randomly, deeply and etc. Today, I would like to touch on a topic that is solely based on my whole 5-6 friendship with my "bestie".

So, let's not get her full name out and I'll say her first name. That is Ashley. Ashley and I were best friends when I was in 2nd grade. Got separated by 3-4th grade and reunited by 9th grade. So, back then Ashley and I are inseparable. You'll see me and her sticking to each other a lot. We share the same interest, same number of siblings, being the oldest child and have the letter 'A' as our first letter of our name.

By the time I was separated by her, I was pretty much a loner again. Lone wolf. A quiet one. While she was not by my side, I was bullied. Yup, bullied. This bully would pinch me hard if I tried to snitch on her, not give her what she wanted or do what she wants me to do. The only day I was treated nice from her was on her birthday. -_- This b*tch really wants to be nice to me only on her birthday. That day, she dragged me into the girl's bathroom, telling me to get her a present and she'll be nice. -_-

I cried ;w; I was a wimp. I still think she would pinch me and so on. Anyways, after a year, the bullying stopped since the bully stopped coming to school. I was again, alone and quiet. This kept going until 9th grade. I started to speak up for myself. That means I gain confidence and tried my best to build up courage. That year, I was reunited with Ashley. She seems more mature than last time. She was pretty loud... Like loud sometimes... She swears a lot too when I was reunited with her. 

Soon, after 2-3 years which now, I see how strong my relationship with her gets. But after quarantine... She seems more aggressive and possessive over the weirdest thing. What I mean by aggressive is that her insults are very harsh. Like... More of a racist type. I'm pretty much tired of her insulting our teachers, especially the Indian teachers and Chinese teachers. She insults them a lot. I could still hear her swear under her breathe. 

Not only that, she seems to develop "anxiety" because of the teachers' "harsh" words. Bruh- I get insults everyday and I don't get that "anxiety". I mean- Yeah, I'm not her. But it's not that bad. Oh! One thing about Ashley is that she never finishes her work. When she does it? On the day we're supposed to finish it is when she'll do it. Besides English work -_-. She's lazy... She even copies my answer. It's partly my fault for letting her copy. I can't say "No" to her :>

Cuz she's my "bestie".

However, I hate it when she kept repeating the same obsession over 2d characters and Madagascar. Like she told me she had a dream where... Uh- She has to do "it" with Melman, a giraffe in Madagascar. Like who tf- Beastiality...? I guess? Anyways, either than that, it gets weird. Of course, that causes me to lose some interest in Kpop actually. Why? She keeps telling me about Loona in which I have no interest at all. I actually don't have a strong interest in female groups. Sorry ^-^

At this point, I'm tired of her. Our conversations can have a pause in between time to time. AND recently, she seems to eager to leave school so much. Is it because of me? No? Yeah? Whatever. I rant to her too much. I rather stop and find someone else. I can't call her as my "bestie". Someone who's racist, kept insulting teachers, calling me "Teacher Privilege", lashed out on me for no reason and etc. Terrible Friend.

Like I said, I'm usually surrounded by toxic people. So, it's difficult to avoid them. I even cried when she lashed out on me that day. Thank goodness for the people who actually helped me to calm down. My baby, my male bestie, and a few others. But mostly my baby >.< He stayed with me when we facetime where I cried. I was expecting him to leave and like tell me that we could facetime again. But was surprised when he stayed and stayed silent as well. Letting me to cry everything out. My comfort ^-^

I could say his name. But I need his permission :3 So, now, my only besties is my baby, my male friend and of course I wouldn't forget Juju!

Juju! If you're reading this, we can meet again soon! I missed seeing you! I hope you're doing well and we could go for a little date one day :3 Also, yes, your baby aka me, now is growing up ^-^ Don't cry ;w;

So, that's all I wanted to say. I just letting you know that you might end up having someone like Ashley. So, be careful and if they're toxic, stop talking to them. There's plenty of others to hang out with! :3 You're not alone! ^-^

With that said, I shall end it here with a positive note. When you're sad, just so you know, there could be someone who will be there for you always! And remember;

Keep That Smile On Your Face! Love you always!

~Jewel~