Flawed Perfection [Sam Winchester]

16 | abandon all hope... [part two]

[this chapter contains sexual content]

+SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA

At Bobby's house, Kendall sits in a remotely quiet corner nursing a beer as she stares down at the number to her parents' home. With her thumb hovering over the dial button, she keeps going back and forth on whether she should call. Fuck, she doesn't wanna do it.

But she knows has to. She has to because tomorrow, she'll set out to kill the Devil. Figment of Zachariah's machinations or not, Kendall's been down this road before. Though she still has Dean at her side and the added comfort of Sam, along with Cas and the Harvelles, that doesn't make the trip any less frightening.

Don't get her wrong. Kendall made peace with the fact that she could die at the hands of Lucifer the moment she linked up with the Winchesters. And in a way, everyone around her had done the same. Before Bobby's photo, which put a huge damper on the evening, Ellen, Jo, and Castiel had been happily trying to drink each other under the table. She, Sam, and Dean had been sharing a beer and talking strategy. So, the suicide mission isn't the problem.

The problem is that she's not sure if she's ready to make the call to her family and tell them she may never come home. After losing Damian, the pain that it caused them all was immeasurable. Kendall coped by finally becoming a full-fledged hunter, burying herself in cases until she was drowning in them. When it got to be too much, her family pulled her out by the tips of her fingers.

It was then that they made her promise that the recklessness would stop. Told her Damian wouldn't want her in the ground next to him so soon. So, stop she did. She reduced the cases she took on, started resuming family dinners, the works. Things got better, and they got stronger.

While months ago, telling her family that she was hunting Lucifer with the Winchesters and their angel friend didn't yield applause, they accepted that the mission she had took on was important. It's why they didn't outright question it. But there's a stark difference in having a dream and making it reality.

In Kendall's mind, she believes Lucifer is going to die. She just also believes that the death toll may include her own.

Kendall releases a sigh, then takes a long drink from her beer as her foot taps anxiously against the floor. The number is basically staring a hole through her at this point, begging her to decide. In the mix of waiting, she hears a mingling of shot glasses hitting the table and laughter that's been stifled by the realization of the fate awaiting them. She squeezes her eyes shut, listening to the sounds around her for a second longer. Then she opens her eyes and presses dial.

To her surprise, Mac picks up the phone. "Ken, hey," he greets enthusiastically. Kendall's chest aches at the bright disposition her brother still holds in this dark world. "You haven't texted me back in a few days. I was starting to think those Brawny paper towel lookin' dudes had kidnapped your ass."

She was hoping Mac would be at his dorm around now to avoid hearing this conversation, but she chooses not to mention it. Laughing despite herself, Kendall replies, "Funny, but you know better than anyone that I'm not getting taken out by a couple lumberjacks. Sounds too basic for me."

"That's right, I forgot we gotta put your name in lights and charge for admission," he jokes. "Don't know how big of a draw that would be, though."

"Mac, anything with me in it is worth the admission price alone." There's the distinct sound of frying over the line and Kendall smiles at the thought of them sitting down for dinner soon. The smile wavers when she thinks about her empty chair gathering cobwebs and dust before it's regretfully removed from the table. Just like Damian's. She clears her throat, forcing her mind to focus on something else. "Where's everybody at?"