Nick Amaro (Law and Order SVU) AU

Chapter 7

"She put in for leave." Nick sighed when he showed up the next day. After that night, they thought it was best that you had some time alone to think. You were obviously upset, so he was hoping the very next morning you could meet up with everyone and just discuss what happened. When he got in that morning he went to Olivia's office immediately. "Dodds approved, after what she went through he said it was more than well deserved."

None of them knew what really happened, the one thing they were clear on was that something very unusual was at play. Nick stopped himself from going straight to your apartment this morning. Now he was wondering if that was such a good idea. He didn't want to pressure you, but he also cared about you deeply. 

The thought that you might be somewhere hurting made his heart ache. "What do we do Liv?" Olivia wasn't sure what to tell him. As the boss she was expected to have all the answers. This was not like her common situation. "We have a case, as soon as we've dealt with it we'll all go over and talk with her. Right now it's probably best if we just give her time with her thoughts." It wasn't a full proof plan, but it was all she could come up with at the time. Nick wasn't exactly the sit still type, but in this case he was forced to be. He only hoped that you didn't think they hated you for not coming clean, or worse, were scared of you.

"Alright Liv." He left, hoping that this case would be done quickly, all he wanted right now was to ensure you were okay.

~~~~

You gripped at your head, crying your eyes out. This is what you were afraid of. Those looks in their eyes. You hated it, you hated it so much. What alarmed you more was the fact that they found out. You were sure you were being so careful. When did you slip up? Of course they would figure it out, they were detectives after all. You just wished they hadn't found out so..soon. You were just getting close to Nick, Olivia adored you, and Rollins, Fin and Carisi were the siblings you always wanted. 

You felt like your life was finally falling in place for the first time. It was almost like you were in control of this one aspect of your life. That was all gone now. You couldn't imagine what they thought of you. The vase on your table broke and you flinched, looking up with wavering eyes. You felt so powerless, which was ironic considering the circumstances. You had no idea how to face your coworkers now, and your lack of emotional stability was costing you a lot of ceramic. That was the second vase you had broken in less than two hours. You sniffed, standing to go and clean up the mess. You gathered the broken pieces, in your haste to get rid of them you grazed your hand on a piece. You winced, watching the line now across your palm. You picked up the rest carefully, dumping them into the trash. The blood was starting to run down your hand. You could barely feel it now.

"What did I expect..they probably...probably.." you didn't know what they thought of you, what Nick thought of you. You gripped your bloody palm tightly. Your anxiety was at an all time high. The knock that came to your door made you jump. You pretended not to hear, whoever it was would go away eventually. It was best if you just had some time apart.

The knocks were becoming more insistent. "I know you're in there (Y/N) open up!" you tensed.

"Nick.." you couldn't, why was he even here.

"G-Go away!" you shouted.

"If you don't open this door right now I swear I'll kick it down!" he threatened. You gulped.

"He wouldn't really do that...right?"

"Guess I have no choice then!" he yelled.

"Alright!" you raised your hand and the door opened on its own. Nick stood on the other side, watching you from across the room. He just stared for a few moments then he stepped in. When he did your eyes focused back on the door and it closed. He looked back in awe. Then his gaze moved back to you. "Woah.." you didn't keep eye contact. 

When he stepped closer, you took a step back. Nick raised his hands in a surrender. "Listen, I know you need time to process, hell we all do. Liv told me to give you a couple days but how am I supposed to do that when I know my partner probably needs me the most right now. " You still refused to meet his eyes. "(Y/N) I-" he stopped when he saw blood dripping from your hand.

"What the hell are you okay!" He threw caution to the wind, pacing over to you and taking your hand. You were startled at the contact. He seemed relieved when he saw it was just a small cut.

"Geez, I swear you're like a kid." he guided you to the sink, turning on the tap and holding your hand over the running water. You just watched as he stepped away to get a paper towel from your counter. He returned, shutting off the water and pressing the paper to your palm, keeping pressure on it to stop the bleeding. You tried not to wince, but he noticed your discomfort and eased his hand off a bit. 

"It's better...thank you.." you mumbled.

This was not what you expected at all. When he barged in you were certain it was to confront you on all the times you'd drop subtle lies about situations that required you to use your powers. His bad cop attitude disappeared as soon as he saw that you were injured. It wasn't even that bad, life as a cop, he must have encountered far worse things. Yet he was looking at you with so much worry. Not the fear you thought would be present behind his beautiful brown eyes.

"I'm not scared of you." your eyes widened. Was he a mind reader? How did he know?

He stepped closer, hands raising to hold your cheeks. There was something strangely familiar about this moment, like deja vu. His thumb was brushing circles on your skin and suddenly, you'd forgotten everything. The intensity of his eyes, warmth of his touch, it was a little too much for your mind to really process. You blinked, and the look in his eyes changed to one of amazement. You were confused, until you saw the glow from your eyes reflected in his.

"Shit am I-" you moved to pull back,but one of his hands reached down, wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush to his body. "Oh no you don't." he growled under his breath. You stiffened, hyper aware of his muscled body now stuck to yours. 

"I don't care what you think, but I'm not scared of you. I know this isn't how you wanted us to find out, hell I'm not sure you even wanted us to find out." Your gaze faltered. 

"I-I wanted to tell you..I..I really did. I just.."

He pressed his forehead to your own. "I know, you don't have to explain anything." The hand that was once on your waist moved to the small of your back. He was tracing patterns against your skin. "You're still the same girl that walked into the precinct all those months ago (Y/N), that cheerful smile, those hopeful eyes. Nothing's changed. " his words made your eyes well up. You clutched unto him. "A-Are you sure?" you croaked out. He nodded, the action making your head moving slightly with his. You giggled and Nick smiled at you. He pulled back a little to look at your eyes again. You felt yourself squirming under his gaze. "Your eyes are beautiful." you blushed. They were probably still glowing. "S-Sorry." it was always harder to control when Nick was close. At his proximity, you were shocked your lights hadn't exploded yet.

"You don't have to apologize." he chuckled, and you were now more aware that you were maybe too close to Nick for your own good. He didn't seem to mind. He leaned to your ear.

"Te dije que son hermosas.." you gripped into his coat, fighting a shudder. This was getting a bit too dangerous. If you didn't get some distance now, you'd definitely do something you wouldn't be able to take back. You moved to pull away, but Nick gave no indication of separating.

"N-Nick.." you cursed at how unsteady your voice was. He hummed in acknowledgement. He pulled back, finally releasing you and your heart settled a little. When you looked at him he had a cocky smirk on his face and you frowned adorably. He really did enjoy torturing you.

Translations. -Te dije que son hermosas- I told you they are beautiful.