Someone To Love

Paradigm Shift

Beam POV

When I woke up that afternoon, I'm thankful that I was still in his arms. I was half-expecting that everything was just a dream born from my wishful thinking. That as soon as I opened my eyes, I will need to face the reality that he was not really beside me.

I turned around so we'll be facing each other. My forehead creased when I realized that he was awake and was staring at me silently. But my chest tightened when I saw the melancholy in his eyes.

"You love me.", he said softly. "You said so in your sleep."

I didn't respond but I also didn't correct him. I just met with his gaze.

"Why me?", he asked me.

"Why not?", I asked back.

"You deserve more than just someone like me, Beam.", he answered which made me shake my head.

"It's you who deserves more than just me, Forth.", I asserted.

He kissed me on my forehead and just stayed silent.

After a while, Forth himself invited me to get up so we can eat. He cooked for the two of us. I do admit that I was somewhat waiting for him to tell me that he loves me. But even though he didn't do that, I tried to be contented with what had happened.
I didn't stop him when he said he'll go home. But I was surprised when he just kissed me before he left. He messaged me to inform me that he just arrived home which was odd since he doesn't do that before.

The next days, I didn't receive news about him. Complete news black out. No message. No calls. Nothing from him at all. When I tried calling him, his phone was turned off. He was not inside his apartment when I went there. I called our common friends but they don't have any idea where he was.

My heart pounded to the extreme when I finally saw him come Saturday entering the gay bar. I wanted to exploded in that moment. I was tempted to storm inside and drag him out but my feet felt heavy to move. I know Forth. If there's anything that will make him turn away, it's being scandalized like that.

I dropped my gaze to my palms when I heard someone knocking on my car window. It was Forth with a wrinkled forehead. He signalled for me to unlock the door for him.

"What are you doing here?", he inquired.

"Paying your bar fine again, I guess.", I answered not efforting to hide my sadness.

His brows met. "I told you I was quitting."

I stared at him dumbfounded. "You never said anything like that."

"Give me your phone."

I handed him my phone.

"Where were you earlier? Why can't I reach you?", he asked while tinkering with my phone.

"At our new project site." It's true. We have a new building to furnish in the outskirts of the city that it had no reception. I was wondering what's up when he handed me my phone back. It was asking for my voicemail password. I absentmindedly pressed the correct code and handed the phone back to him.

"Seriously? You're using my birthday as a password?", he asked amused.

I blushed.

"Well, anyway, here you go.", he said, handing over my phone again. I was bewildered and just stared at the screen before I placed the handset over my ear.

"It's me. So, I'll be back in a few hours, I'm on a bus now. Sorry if I suddenly disappeared. I just needed to tie some loose ends first.", said the recording of Forth's voice over the phone.