Destined To Be Yours

3

'A sigh isn't just a sigh. We inhale the world and breathe out meaning. While we can. While we can.'

-Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh
***

Bhaddaiyan Raj,
India, 1854;

Saya knew even before she had set foot in the premises of the palace, that her absence had not been able to remain secret for long.

The entire place was illuminated by the glow of numerous torches. Her own brother, along with a handful of men, met her at the gates, his face the vision of carefully-suppressed rage.

He said nothing, merely motioning for her to follow him.
And as they silently made their way inside, she almost forgot about the previous incident- one which had left her shaken to the core.

The only relief was the fact that she had been able to send Aslam back before anyone could spot him. Now, all that was left was convincing her family of the necessity of her actions.
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"Why did you do it, Saya? Do you have any idea about how fearful we were?"

Saya bent her head in shame. She had never meant to make her bade-pitaji upset. Seeing his usually calm countenance, contorted with distress, sent a deep ache through her heart.

"But I had to do that, bade-pitaji...Hamida Bibi was sick. I couldn't possibly ignore Ruqsana's request!"

Saya cast a pleading glance at him, hoping to make him understand.

"You went out in the middle of the night, without any proper escort. Is this how a girl of your bearing is supposed to act? Do you even know the extent of dishonour that you would have brought upon the family if anyone had recognised you?
And maybe someone already has..."

Saya winced at the reproach in her brother's words.
She knew he spoke out of his concern for her, but could not help feeling a little wounded by his tone.

She wondered how much of his anger Gayatri had faced.
Her sister-in-law was not in the hall with them, causing Saya to feel even more cornered.

"We were scared, my child. What you did was too reckless. You should be aware of the dangers that lurk in the shadows of the night; especially in the place you went to. You are a woman. You must be careful at all times."

Her bade-pitaji's words caused Saya to momentarily raise her head.

The memory of what had transpired flashed through her mind. If they ever became aware of what had happened to her, they would be livid!

"I am sorry, bade-pitaji. I did not want to hide it from you. But I had no other choice. You would never have allowed me to leave.; and if I hadn't left, Hamida Bibi would never have taken her medicine."

Her words were met with a scoff from her brother.

"Of course, we would never have let you leave! As for Hamida Bibi, I think she would have been capable of surviving the night without your assistance. I am going to have a few words with that girl. How dare she try to malign your reputation by sending such a ridiculous message."

Saya threw her hands in front of her, trying to emphasise her words.

"Ruqsana did nothing wrong, bhaiya! She had no other choice. Hamida Bibi was not drinking the concoction. And without it, the hakim said she would not be able to survive the night."

Saya turned back towards the king,

"Bade-Pitaji, Hamida Bibi is my guru. I couldn't possibly leave her alone like that. She was badi-ma's confidant. Please try to understand."