One Night in New York

Chapter Eighteen

 Sometimes we don't understand the plan, and we can't figure out why certain things happen. Sometimes all we can do is accept what is going to happen, but how can we welcome it when an unexpected tragedy occurs in our life? Sometimes we lose faith that life has a purpose, that people are where they are supposed to be, and that things happen as they should. This intricate design known as life is not for us to comprehend, but rather to learn and grow from, to love and lose, to smite and to have faith. Remember that we all have the same fate; unfortunately, some meet their maker too soon or in a tragic way.

It had been a week since our stay-at-home order had been issued. As we tried to adjust to our new normal, the entire city of New York fell silent. While essential businesses remained open, New York was largely deserted. Never seeing the smiling faces of those you pass by was going to be the new norm. Was anyone truly happy? My guess was that there wouldn't be many. How can we be happy when our world is being attacked by an enemy we cannot see, hear, or touch? It was silent, but we were all aware of its presence.

Liam and Connie began to cough, not phlegm-filled coughs, but coughs nonetheless. They both had shortness of breath and were tired all the time. Liam tried to brush it off for the first few days, feeling exhausted from a common cold. I became the one in charge of things, cooking and making sure they had medicine to break their fevers, which had begun to rise. Everyone in the house started to feel off, but none more so than Liam and Connie.

"Nat, I don't want to eat. I can't even taste it. That's weird. Right?" Liam asked as I tried to get him to at least try the soup I made.

Liam and Connie both lost their sense of taste, and I began to panic, not fully comprehending what was going on. Had this virus infected the two of them? If that's the case, will we all have it, all eight of us? I immediately contacted Liam's doctor and explained the symptoms to him. He urged them to go to the hospital right away, and we agreed. While Andrew drove Liam, Thomas, Connie, and me to the hospital, we all put on our face coverings. We took the eight-minute drive to West 12th Street, where we entered the ER waiting room. The number of people sitting, waiting, sick, or dying was incredible.

Because Connie was struggling to breathe, she was taken back first, followed by Liam. Andrew, Thomas, and I were not permitted to accompany them, so our only option was to return to the house and await further instructions. It was terrible not being able to be with the people you care about. All you can do is imagine the worst and hope for the best. All I could do was pace and hope they were okay.

The two were tested immediately after arriving, and the next forty-eight hours became a blur. Things went downhill while the hospital awaited the results. Thomas received a phone call informing him that Connie had slipped into a coma, was in the intensive care unit, and was being ventilated. Thomas wanted to go to the hospital to see her right away, but he was told he couldn't. How can someone not be by the one they love while fighting for their life?

As I received the phone call informing me that Liam and his mother had tested positive for Covid-19 and that the rest of us would be quarantined for the next two weeks, I immediately thought of Liam. I couldn't figure it out. Liam was a seemingly healthy twenty-eight-year-old man, and his mother was only fifty-two years old and appeared to be in good health. How could this be happening to our family? We were certain that we all had it, but the rest of us were asymptomatic or had only a few symptoms.

All I could do was keep praying and cling to hope. My prayers, however, would go unanswered. Not everything can be described as a walking miracle. Sometimes we have to face death when we least expect it, and Connie and Liam had to do just that.

I was constantly calling and texting Liam to get updates on his condition as his father tried to reach him and inform him about his mother. All attempts to contact him went unanswered until the next day. Liam had developed pneumonia on top of Covid-19 three days in. When I heard the news, I sank into my chair and sobbed uncontrollably. We could only sit at home and wait while a mother and son lay in the hospital fighting for their lives.

I couldn't take it any longer, feeling desperate, confused, and angry. I immediately called the hospital and asked to speak with the nurse or doctor in charge of both Connie and Liam's cases. I needed to talk to my soon-to-be husband, and Thomas needed to talk to his wife. We both knew they couldn't respond, but we wanted them to hear our voices and know we were praying for them to survive.

I was finally able to contact Nurse Jackie. She was Liam's nurse, but she agreed to assist Thomas and me in delivering our messages to our loved ones. She went to Connie's room first because I thought it was important for Thomas to go first, having been with her since they were eighteen, thirty-four years to be exact. She needed to hear him pleading for her to pull through, even if she couldn't respond.

Nurse Jackie, the angel that she was, gave us her phone number so we could continue. She suggested we do it that way so she could use her phone instead of holding the room phone to their ear.

"Honey, Connie," Thomas said first. "It's Tom. I want to tell you that I love you and that I need you to fight through this. We still have so much to do and see together, sweetheart, and I need you here to share it all with me. It is not the right time for you to leave me. I've always intended to go first, or at least with you, holding your hand. You have a grandchild due in a few months, and you should..., no, you must be here. If you're not there, how will they know what a wonderful grandmother you are? Your children still need you. I need you, Connie; please don't give up and keep fighting. Do you remember when I was sick a few years ago? I fought because you told me to. I need you to do the same." Then Thomas began to cry, "Come home to me. Connie, I can't get through the rest of my life without you. I won't make it. I can't go on without you." As the reality of possibly losing his life partner washed over him, he dropped to his knees and began to hyperventilate.

As everyone rushed over to Thomas, I consoled him while he cried. Alyssa was next. "Hi mom, it's Alyssa," she said, wanting her mother to hear her voice. "Your little girl. Mom, if you can hear me, I want you to know how much I love you. You have been the best mother on the planet. I apologize for not expressing how much you mean to me. Mommy, please pull through this and wake up," Alyssa continued, wailing like her father. " I know you can hear me. I believe you can. I need you, mom. What happens when I get married? I need you by my side through it all. Who is going to help me fit into my wedding dress? Who is going to be by me every step of the way if you are not here? What about when I have kids of my own? Your mom is supposed to be there to hold your hand through it all. And Mom, you need to fight for Liam too. He is in the hospital and will need you when he gets out. We all need you."

As the entire room wept, comforting one another, I slowly took the phone from Alyssa. Nurse Jackie then informed me that she would go over to Liam's bed so I could speak to him. He wasn't in a coma like Connie, but he was heavily sedated. As I stood there, she hurried over to Liam's room. "OK. I'm by Liam's side, Natalie; go ahead, honey, "Nurse Jackie informed me. This is what I said to him: "Hi baby, it's Natalie. Oh, baby, I need you to fight to get better." That's how far I got before the tears started, but I kept going "I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. Do you hear what I'm saying? Our journey together has only just begun. We have a baby on the way who will need you. I won't be able to make it without you. Liam, your entire family needs you here. Please get better and come home to us, baby."

I couldn't continue. I felt as if I were saying goodbye, and I refused to believe that these would be my last words to Liam. Over the next forty-eight hours, we sat and waited once more. We had nurse Jackie hold her phone to their ear so we could talk to them as time passed, urging them both to stay strong. It was getting close to April 5, 2020. They'd been in for six days, which seemed like an eternity to us. Their outcomes appeared bleak, but we all expected them to return. All we could do was stand there, impatiently waiting for the next update. Then it happened: around 8:30 p.m. that fateful day, one of us had missed multiple calls from the hospital. We had all dozed off as we struggled to stay awake due to a lack of sleep.

The phone rang again at 10:35 PM, on April 5, 2020. Time of death 10:15 PM.