One Night in New York

Chapter Eleven

We often say things in the heat of the moment. Something traumatic can occur that makes us realize how we feel about someone. And sometimes we keep things to ourselves that could have an impact on the course of our lives. What motivates us to do it? People are wired to believe in fate, destiny, or whatever you want to call it. We are wired to be so affected by a tragedy that we believe the best time to express how we feel is right then and there. And when we believe something can hurt someone, we are wired to walk on eggshells; sometimes, a secret needs to stay hidden deep within to protect ourselves from being hurt.

That's what seemed to be happening, at least to me. Liam confessed his feelings for me. It was in the heat of the moment, following a tragedy in which he likely thought he would lose me. And I was keeping a secret; the biggest secret anyone could keep because I didn't want to be hurt by the person I thought I loved.

I started crying as Liam said those words to me. I couldn't tell if they were happy tears or tears from keeping my secret hidden so deeply that it was killing me. I wanted to tell him that I loved him as well, but I didn't. I just sobbed as I encircled his waist and buried my face in his chest.

"Why didn't you say I love you too? God, Natalie! This man professed he loves you!" I mentally beat myself up, angry that I did not immediately say it back.

But, how could I? I couldn't tell Liam I loved him at the time because I was keeping something from him. It didn't feel right to me.

I saw his face flush with concern as I didn't respond, releasing myself from around his waist as I turned to walk in. "I'll call you tomorrow, Liam," That was the response to the man who had just told me he loved me, the man who had told me he never wanted to fall in love because he didn't believe in fairy-tale endings. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve at the time, and I ripped it to shreds.

I didn't look back as I walked in, not wanting to see his pain, knowing I was the one who caused it. I set my suitcase down next to the door, stood against it, and slid down, my head buried in my hands. Angie and Marcus were in the living room, watching everything unfold in front of them, with Angie rushing over to grab my hand. I needed my best friend, and she was there for me as always.

"Oh my God, Nat, are you OK?" she asked, holding me tighter.

All I could do was shake my head no as I was about to reveal to her first, my big secret. I lifted my head slightly from my hands as she stared into my broken soul. I quietly muttered to her, "I'm pregnant."

Angie fell back, sitting on the floor next to me, seemingly shocked as I was, "You're pregnant? Nat, what did Liam say? What did he do? I'll kill him if he hurt you."

"No, Angie, he doesn't know. I couldn't tell him. I found out in the hospital while he was getting a cast on his arm. I don't know what I am going to do," I cried, hyperventilating as a flood of emotion washed over me, "And he just told me he loves me, and I didn't say it back. I am the worst person on the planet."

"Damn, this is some days of our lives shit right here," Marcus shouted as he heard our conversation from the couch.

"Shut up! dick!" Angie shouted, "She is going through something hard right now. Compassion, learn it."

"I was joking, babe. Calm down," Marcus replied as he stood to approach me, kneeling on the other side, continuing to be a good friend, "Look Nat, you need to tell him, and if he loves you as he says, then he will be excited. But you have to talk to him."

I raised my head, wiping the snot from my nose with my sleeve. I know it's gross, but who doesn't do that when they're crying so hard? I nodded to Marcus, knowing Liam deserved the truth sooner rather than later, but still planning the big reveal after his parents had left. Connie would think I got knocked up on purpose to trap her son, I could see it. I didn't need any more drama in my life; I was already dealing with enough.