Statera: The Balance of Yin and Yang

Of Fraternizing and Pillars

The chaos that was the exhibition had been a good opportunity to slip away and report back to Father. After the classic conversation about how to support the cause and to keep a close eye on Elora and her burgeoning skills, I returned to the Congregate. After all, I couldn't have people prying into why I was gone for long periods of time.

Chancing upon Advisor Lokni and Assistant Tomokai's conversation was a complete stroke of luck, and I mentally stored away the tidbit of information as while listening from behind a pillar, Yin energy wrapped around my ears. Theia's observations had been right after all. Tomokai had always been a Yang user that strayed from conventions. This was highly valuable information for future... negotiations.

As soon as Tomokai left, I slipped away before Advisor Lokni could realise he was not alone. I had faith in my skills, but the rumours surrounding the man, while not plentiful, were impressive. Sometimes, I wondered if the whispers were idle gossip by admirers, or if they held any truth.

But that day, when Aletheia had collapsed... The healing he had done, and most likely mind arts as well, required a high level of skill and control. No, I was sure the man lived up to his reputation, perhaps even more. Father would want to know about it.

I was almost at my door when Theia's door opened. Upset rolled off her in palpable waves, as if her energy was feeding on her emotions and seeping out of her. Or maybe I was just more attuned to her habits. Neewa have mercy, I was spending too much time with all of them. I was starting to consider them friends.

My hand hovered on the door handle, undecided. Should I duck into my room before she noticed me?

"Hey, where have you been?" She perked up slightly as she saw me. Too late.

"I was training," I lied. "Wanted to blow off some steam."

It would have been a plausible excuse if I wasn't still wearing the formal clothes I wore to visit Father. Theia was too troubled to take any notice.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

The meeting with Father had been... draining, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than hide under my covers for the rest of eternity. But for some odd reason, I decided the exact opposite. "Sure."

Theia smiled, and a strange feeling gnawed at my chest. I had just given my report on her closest friend to my Father, and eavesdropped on a conversation of two teachers that she respected, and she looked at me like I was doing her a great favour. Peryton have mercy, what was I doing? How would she react if she knew who I truly was?

"Something bothering you?" I asked, as she kept strangely silent while we walked along the stone hallways.

Her eyes darted sideways to look at me, then her lips twisted. "Nothing much..."

I laughed at the outright lie. Her natural affinity to Yin was helping her detach herself from most of her strong emotions. But Yin naturally manifested in pessimistic thoughts, so strong negative emotions were difficult to control. Her eyes widened at the unfamiliar sound coming from me.

"Don't be stupid, we both know that's not true," I said.

Her fists tightened, and she was quite close to pouting. "I know. But I just-" she stopped walking, and clamped her eyes shut, taking in a deep breath.

"I just can't stop the voices in my head sometimes," she whispered, her eyes cast to her feet as she scuffed the toe box of her shoe on the ground. Her grey eyes refused to meet mine. "I keep wondering whether I should have just stayed in Minato, become the daughter my father wanted."

"It doesn't help that Elora is so – so bright. I wish I were like her, and it makes me envious, no, jealous," She laughed harshly, self-deprecatingly. It was the kind of laughter that came out all wrong. Perhaps it shouldn't even be called a laugh at all. "I love her, but she's everything I wish I was, and I hate that I cannot be fully happy for her. I'm such a horrible person!"

"Love...?" Had I miscalculated then? Was this something else important? Oh Neewa, I hated how everything I learnt about the people around me was just part of the report I gave to him.

"As a friend or, or perhaps a sister!" she clarified, seeing my raised eyebrow.

Ah. I knew the wretched feeling. Being jealous of a sibling you loved. Brother... I loved and respected him so much. Yet I could not stop the jealousy that bubbled in my chest knowing that he was the rightful son, the glorious one, the central figure to the plan. How many nights have I dreamt of being that son, the one that made father proud and the one whose achievements were flaunted to everyone?

A thought ran through my brain and out of my mouth before I could halt it in its tracks.

"I might be able to help you. I can teach you to control the feelings."

Neewa help me, where had my own self-control gone? Befriending the enemy for intel was one thing, fraternising with them was another. Theia's face brightened considerably. But she hesitated, looking for the right words to say. "Really? You would? I mean I'm already such a bother with the Sento training."

How could I turn her down when I understood her pain and troubles? Even if there were numerous others who had worse troubles than this? When there were Yin congregants who would lose their livelihoods, or their lives, in the next few months of years?

But I didn't know them. I knew Theia. And there was an inexplicable urge to help her.

I scowled reflexively. "Shut up, Theia. I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it."

"You're a good friend," she said, clapping my shoulder roughly as she smiled broadly, her teeth showing. I spotted a bit of green stuck in between her front teeth. Her easy trust only made the strange feeling at my chest worse.

I hoped that Father was right, and Senno would spare my soul for whatever I was doing.

A/N: Is it pretty obvious who this POV is yet? Hope you are still enjoying the story and as always leave a comment or vote to let me know if you are liking it! :) Should be updating again soon!