Star Damaged [BakuDeku]

I'm sorry but-

Oh boy. It's been a while, hasn't it? A long time coming, actually. Much longer than I was expecting, but whatever. I seriously can't take this any longer. I've told myself over and over again that I would never do it, that I was better than this, that the pressure was nothing and I could handle it, but for real enough is enough and I've stayed silent about this for too long-

Y'ALL ARE FREAKING ANNOYING

This is being used as a general term ofc, since not everyone triggers me like this, but a select few randoms that I really, really don't feel like looking at. Or rather, every other person who asked me to "update". But that won't stop me from addressing every single of you with the same amount of pent up frustration I've saved up all this time just for this very moment. You're all stuck with reader equality, and there's nothing you can do about it!

If you know my other book When Hate Wants Love, the second most popular on my page, then you'd be familiar with this sort of author note style from me. Or at least, the occasional jabs at readers that get on my nerves. I'm definitely more toxic over there than in here, which will be the first time I've ever had to do a rant because of you guys cornering me like this.

And don't forget my little known update rule: "Every time someone asks me [aka implies] to hurry up and update faster, I hold back the original update schedule and wait 24 hours from any pushy comments to post the next chapter".

It's a cute lil rule that's been working out wonders for me so far, despite the occasional little shithead that skips over my author's notes and asks anyway. Some people asked if that same rule applied to this book, and I did say yes, despite the fact that I used to update on a weekly basis but... that wasn't all there was to it.

I stopped updating just around the beginnings of quarantine, when I ran out of chapters to post on Ao3. As some of my readers may know, my posts on Ao3 were ahead of the ones on Wattpad, so I was able to continue posting those completed chapters in March and allowed this book catch up with the latest update, hoping to buy myself some time to work on future chapters while the world fell into chaos.

What I thought was going to be a month hiatus at most, turned into a 9 month-long hiatus instead.

Like, I wasn't worried about it at first. As soon as quarantine had been announced in my area, for the first couple of weeks I was busy with making preparations with my family, following safety protocols, helping with paperwork and stocking up on essentials. Obviously I would prioritize my personal life and health over the entertainment of strangers on the internet.

But once we got settled in and gradually got used to staying at home, I still couldn't write anything.

It's kind of a weird thing to admit, but I normally don't write at home. I've been in a funky mood ever since quarantine started, and it's been a struggle for me to focus on writing when I'm stuck with my family 24/7. I love them and all, but it's really hard for me to concentrate when they keep being loud or listening to the news. Not to mention how annoying my neighbors are...

Home is where I usually relax, get distracted by other obsessions and edit my typings before posting. It was already hard enough trying to get used to my room as a workspace when I was stressed with little to none inspiration for fan fiction.

I prefer the quiet of computer labs, cafes or parks, where I can just sit and observe the people around me, listening to music and getting lost in my own world. Maybe a friend or two for company. But with quarantine, everything and everywhere was closed, I couldn't do anything about that.

On the bright side, I got to reconnect with some old friends, disconnected with others, and met new people on the internet. And played a lot of games. A few of the popular ones, but I mostly went ham and relived my childhood through the dying flash games xDDDDD