Howl's Twisted Castle

46: Have a heart

My legs grew numb with cold, aching from lack of movement, but I couldn't bring myself to leave him. His skin had taken on a mottled grey, a stark contrast to the pinkness of my hand cradling his shoulders. I lost track of time as I knelt beside him, holding him like a broken thing as if my embrace could piece him back together again. The quiet beat of my heart was my only company, a bleak reminder that his had stopped.

Daylight peaked through the clouds, warming my cold damp skin as we lay on the bare ocean floor. The winds had died down and the wall of water held steady, as if it knew I needed to grieve. If the water came crashing down now, I was inclined to accept my fate. I couldn't leave Howl here, like this. He deserved to be buried with his family in the quiet grove across the ocean, not abandoned at the bottom of the sea.

A steady hand squeezed my shoulder but I didn't have to look up to know who it was. 

I peered up into the warm brown eyes of my brother and forced a smile.

"The Witch?"

"Dead."

Alex nodded solemnly. He must have assumed as much already. "and Howl?"

Tears dripped down my cheeks freely. "I don't know," I lied. Of course I knew. Not once did I feel his chest rise in the time I sat there, waiting for him to give me some indication that he was still with me. 

Alex knelt in the mud and plucked the little heartstone, my heartstone, from Howls tattered shirt. He held it out to the sun and gave it an appraising look. "He held on to this the entire time," he chuckled thoughtfully, "good."

I nodded mechanically. Nothing was good about this.

Alex seemed to consider this for a moment before stepping away. He made his way over to the pile of rocks where Solana's body laid buried beneath and laid his palms flat against the stones. He spoke quietly to the mound, placing a hand over his heart. 

He had once told me that the Witch had once been his pupil long ago. They may have had their differences, but a part of him must have grieved for the loss of his student. Any loss of life, for that matter, should be mourned but I felt nothing for the Witch of the Waste. It should have scared me, but I couldn't bring myself to feel anything anymore.

Alex walked along the wall of water, running his fingers through the current in admiration.

"Howl did this?"

"No," I responded, my voice cracking.

Alex's eyebrows disappeared beneath his dusty brown hair. "You did?" 

I clutched my shirt tight and nodded mutely.

Alex let out a low whistle. "I seems I have missed a great deal while I was keeping the guards busy. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but it seems that you and Howl had everything under control. --Err, Sophie?" He caught me sniffling and knelled before me, "what is the matter?"

"Don't you see?" I stroked Howls limp hair and bit my lip to stop it from wobbling. "Howl's gone."

He knelled pointed to the space below my collarbone where my heart beat steady as a drum in my chest, a question forming on his lips. 

"It is Howls," I confirmed, "--but I didn't have a choice. We would have drowned without it."

"Seems to be beating quite well," he mused, holding his other hand to Howls chest. "Howl's a little cold though, must be all of that sea water. Not good for the complexion you see."

My brows knit together. "I'm not following." 

He covered my hands with his and spoke softly, "Sophie, have you ever stopped to consider why it is that Howl didn't kill Solana over the past century? He had countless opportunities to take his revenge and had he done so, it would have saved him a lot of grief, yet he did not. Has it ever made you wonder?"