Wrecked Series #1: Opposite Trail [On-going]

CHAPTER 2

Arrival

We just came home? Should I call it home? Coz' they say home is where the heart is, but in my case I don't think so. This homecoming was quite different from all the others I've had in my life. This time it really meant something. Although I have lived here once in my life, coming home from a very far place seems to be having a more profound impact on me.

Back to reality. I was never particularly excited to go home. NEVER. Starting a new chapter in life that will certainly not be as high as the previous, I obviously had my trepidations. I live in Leyte, and it provides wonderful things, people, and a beautifully unique culture I am quick to love.

Coming home conjures up numerous emotions, many of which are as individual as the person experiencing them. For me, there was no closure and little anticipation. Returning home was just what needed to be done. I have to do this and my decision is already settled.

Indifference followed me through the routine of moving, the change of address forms, the people around me, and although I miss my comfort zone dearly, I thought I'd be more excited to paint all day and write songs when overthinking is killing me.

You know sometimes I wish I could go back in life. Not to change anything but to feel a few things twice. That days when I was still an innocent child who knows nothing but to play and eat a lot of candy. 'Yong batang ako na walang ibang iniisip kundi way kung paano makakatakas sa bahay para makapaglaro at di makatulog sa hapon. Hindi 'yong ganito. Ayoko. Ayoko ng puro responsibilidad ang nakaatang sa balikat ko. Dahil ba sa panganay ako o sadyang sinasadya lang ng tadhana? I don't know! Hindi ko na alam! I badly need an answer!

But my positive side is cheering me up. Like you go gurl you can do it strive harder b*tch! It's like she's saying that if you're frightened of what's coming next don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you to places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and mind as you create your own path towards happiness. Don't waste time with regrets. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment as it comes because you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a rest and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest soul of your heart your hope lives. And you'll find your way again.

And that's what I did.

I tried. I tried to look at the bright side of life, but it hurts my eye. I already did it most of the times to stay happy. To remain on the positive side and to avoid any worries about what ifs. But I do take a glimpse at the darker side here and there. You may never know this darkness is slowly building up in disguise right in front your blinded eyes, or it is slowly creeping into the bright side where it's driven motive is to dim.

Taking a glimpse at the dark side, breeds critical thinking, make you become very cautious and possibly prepare you for the "what if's" with bad intentions. There is a bright side to everything, even in the dark side itself.

One... two... nagbibilang na 'ko para mahampas ko 'tong umuuga sa'kin! Nananaginip pa 'ko na nagsasalita ng may sense eh! Minsan lang ako maka come up ng english phrases noh! Sapak talaga sa'kin to pag umabot ng lima!

I-aangat ko na sana 'yong kamay ko ng maaninag ko na kung sino any gumigising sa'kin. Si papa pala makakatikim sana siya ng hagupit ni Cassidy! Kidding aside I won't do it I love my dad so much!

"Nak kain na tayo" malumanay na sabi ni papa. At tumayo na ako kasi ayoko maubosan ng favorite ko na adobo! Di joke lang di naman nila siguro gagawin 'yon noh? Buwesita kaya ako dito! Bisita lang pala I don't degrade myself that much noh I have worth kaya! Mga wampipti ganern HAHAHAHA.