I Don't Love You // Park Seonghwa

LOVE YOU

*6 Months later*

Seonghwa sat down on a bench under a tree as he watched the molten-red leaves falling to the ground. The yawning wind made him shiver a bit but it didn't stop him from enjoying the fresh autumn air. The bright blue sky brought a smile on his face. He loves everything about the weather today.

"What are you doing outside? Let's go inside," said a blonde haired man wearing a white coat.

Seonghwa turned to look at the person who just sat beside him. His eyes fell on the nametag on his coat.

Kang Yeosang.

"Just enjoying the nice weather before it gets too chilly," Seonghwa replied. "I think I like this place. It makes me feel serene."

Yeosang smiled. That's because this clinic used to be your late mother's clinic. "Should we head inside now?"

"You can just ask the question here," Seonghwa said nonchalantly. "It doesn't matter right? I don't feel like looking at the cross-section of my brain."

Yeosang chuckled. "You can't remember my name but you did remember about what we always do during our consultation?"

"I guess my memory remembers random things. I'm sorry that your name is not one of it," Seonghwa placed his palms on the bench and leaned backwards a bit. "Don't worry, i might suddenly remember your name and forget about the consultation. You know, like an exchange of memories." He joked.

Yeosang smiled and glanced at his watch. It's about time for them to come. He then averted his gaze to Seonghwa. "Why don't you get a better treatment in Seoul? Your condition won't get better if you keep on coming to my clinic."

Yeosang was surprised when Seonghwa first came to his clinic 6 months ago. He was already aware about his inherited disease but he thought that Seonghwa would prefer getting his treatment in a bigger and better hospital. Yeosang asked Hongjoong about this but he only said that it's Seonghwa's wish.

"That's what he told me when his memory was still good. I guess he's aware that his condition won't get better. His father died with an Alzheimer. Maybe he wanted to spend his time here, in his hometown," said Hongjoong.

"I just don't want to," Seonghwa replied. "Besides, you seem to be a good doctor. When you ask about my daily routine that I can remember, it makes me feel happy even though I might forget about it again."

"Do you write it in your diary?"

Seonghwa bent down and picked up one of the fallen leaves. He examined the maple leaf in his hand. "I already stopped writing them."

"Why?" Yeosang cocked his brow.

"I don't feel like writing it anymore." He shrugged and turned to face Yeosang. Seonghwa showed the leaf to him and the latter creased his forehead. "Why are you showing me the dead leaf?" Yeosang asked.

"This dead leaf is like one of those memories that I lost. It will soon be swept away by the cleaner. This tree," he pointed at the tree behind them. "It will grow more leaves after it shed the dead one."

"Are you implying that you will just let those memories go?"

"Yeah." Seonghwa nodded. "The more I write it, the more frustrated I get. It makes me think, 'Ah there's so many good memories that I want to remember but I kept on forgetting them.' and that makes me sad. I want to remember them so badly but I just can't. I might remember some but I forget most of them. It would be better if I just let it go and live in the present." He smiled but his tone was laced with a tinge of sadness.